Human Inspired

So That Happened

2010-01-17T14:36:00.004-05:00

Every now and then something happens that reminds me of my own, and others mortality. It freaks me out. Last night was one of those instances. There were five of us in the car and we pulled up to our destination pretty sure we'd be looking for parking for hours. The driver, Gina, is blessed with being Italian and thereby always getting the best parking spots, or as she likes to say "Italian parking spots". I was beginning to believe all the hype of being Italian with this parking spot on a Saturday night. It was right in front. So we filed out of the car and were waiting on the sidewalk for Gina who was still in the car. We were talking about something or another - probably the validity of this whole Italian parking spot business - when we heard a crash. Not just any crash. I metallic glass loud bang clearly coming from the other side of our car that was not in view. And the first thing that ran through my mind was that Gina was dead. I thought a car had sideswiped as she was getting out. And then I looked on the street and couldn't see a car, and everyone we were with was panicking...like WTF just happened. Running to the car. I was still standing shocked on the sidewalk and there was a crowd growing on the other side of the street and I kept hearing, "Oh my God" and shocked murmurs.

I finally snapped out of it enough to go see just WTF had happened. Mind you, this is only like 10 seconds later. And I go around the car where the rest of the group is and see a biker moaning and standing up and Gina staring with wide eyes. She's alive! Holy shit, it was scary. I immediately scan the area for damage to people and property and someone grabs the bike out of the street and someone on the other side says "This is the second time I've seen that this week!" The guy must have been going fast, and with perfect(?) timing, Gina had opened her door, sending him to the ground and her door back way farther than it was even supposed to go. Crazy stuff.

The biker gets up holding his head, muttering about a concussion but he seems...okay. People okay - check. I walk over to him with authority like some sort of doctor or something and check his pupils. Thank you ER and Grey's Anatomy. I "assure" him his pupils are the same size and ask him basic questions and ask about his vision. He seems to take stock in what I say and is like "that's good". Eh...I wonder if I should have told him I don't actually have a PhD.

Anyway, long story short, the biker eventually moseys down the street with his uninjured bike, amazingly. Assuring us all he's okay. (I so hope that's true!) And meanwhile at the car, the new problem has arised that the door no longer shuts. It's a regular old competition between all the men to see who can get it shut. Lots of slams - resulting in the door bouncing back. A metal on metal sound that clearly illustrates that this door is effed. The valet guys come help us and after 30 minutes of failed attempts at realigning the door, we finally reach the conclusion that it has to be tied shut so the car can be driven home. The problem with that is all the interior lights staying on will most likely drain the battery over night.

Gina finally speaks up that she has triple A so we call them to see if they can have better luck with the door. They don't and they end up just retying it and showing her how to disable the battery overnight. We are trying to convince Gina that the night is clearly over - seeing as it is now 12:30 and her car door is not lockable. She doesn't bite and insists on at least getting a drink. What a trooper. I would have not been functioning after the whole ordeal. Actually wasn't functioning for a bit there, and it didn't even happen to me.

Anyway. How easily that could have been a car. How one second we're all joking and laughing about Italian parking spots and the next, something like this happens. So fast. Just unbelievable to think about. And things like that do happen. That's the crazy part. I mean luckily everyone is okay, but I can only imagine a fraction of how people feel when something so out of the blue happens. Eh.

So this is a friendly reminder to check and double check when opening your door to the street. Sheesh. What a night.

Interesting Development in the War on Pirates

2009-04-16T20:24:00.001-04:00

and on our own soil!

What Goes Around...

2009-02-07T11:59:00.003-05:00

Apparently there are worse things than getting bad notes! Thank you world for that discussion we had. I'm proven wrong. Again. Yes, thank you.

Sorry just a little "You're right, I'm wrong" message I had to send out to the universe.

Now to the good stuff. Okay so I love Televisionwithoutpity.com and read it on the regular. Well nooooowwwwww, a show I am working on, in a creative kind of way, has a forum there! Yes. So basically where I used to bitch and moan and say things are brilliant, people now get that same opportunity to do with me! And an episode in which I co-edited had a post, "The editors did...". So not only are people posting about my show, they are posting about me! In a small, tiny way. But my mind is blown. And I would love to pimp the show here but know a lot of the people that Google it and would rather not direct my bosses to my blog. Soooo, let me just say it's on The Learning C, the day after Mon, every night at ten pm. Look it up. Watch it. And get your mind blown.

Bad Notes

2009-01-07T11:03:00.003-05:00

Okay I'm sure there are worse things in this world than sitting through a screening in which the notes just keep on coming, but geez. It's tough in my job to sit and have something you've worked on for so long get torn apart so easily. Which is what happened yesterday. Not that the notes weren't spot on or anything. Unfortunately they were. Of course I've had worse. When I was in college, a screening one time went so badly that the director walked out of the room, leaving me behind, humiliated and scarred for life. Which is when I learned to grow some thick skin, which is easier said than done. Because man, right when I think my job is a walk in the park, something like this happens that shows me there's a reason I'm making money at this. It's hard. It's really effin hard. And now I have three days to sit and focus and churn out some genius stuff, or I fear my job is on the line. So of course I'm motivated now - which is definitely one upside to this whole thing. But I have a lot of people counting on me, which makes this whole thing worse when I let, even for a single second, the thought slip into my head that maybe I'm just not good enough. Which if you ask my mom, is just not true. And if I had a weekend before the cut was due I'd feel better, but I don't. So I'm chaining myself to my desk today and buckling down and going to figure this thing out. It's days like this I wonder why in the world I went into this crazy business when you are repeatedly setting yourself up for someone out there to Mitchum Huntzburger you.

Anyway, that's my current thoughts on my flagellation yesterday. That and, why do I insist on dressing up for these things! When you are being torn to shreds, it's almost worse when you're wearing cute shoes.

Why I Limped Off The Elevator

2009-01-01T11:47:00.002-05:00

No, I wasn't hurt! I was faking! It was after work on Tuesday and I had pulled into my driveway around 7:30. It was a rather non-productive afternoon at work and I was feeling exceptionally lazy. I park in the basement of my building, and with two rather small stairways to go to my apt on the second floor, I opted for the elevator. I always hope it doesn't stop on the first floor, so my laziness isn't revealed, but on this day, no such luck. Someone stepped on, I asked what floor, and he said 4. Four is a far more reasonable reason to take the elevator, so feeling a bit silly for my 2 flight rise, when the doors opened on 2, I limped out. My concern for what my neighbor thought of me made me laugh.

Work is going pretty good. I feel like I'm doing a better job than anyone expected, already ahead of schedule enough that they put me on someone else's project for a day to help them catch up. I got the owners of the company presents for Christmas. CDs of the Stars, my favorite band. Now I just feel weird about it. It's not like I talk to these people a lot or anything, I just wanted to show them some appreciation for everything that they do. I think I was the only editor to get them something. I blame my Southern roots. And I feel a teensy bit awkward now. Especially since one of them barely said hi to me in the hall post-gift. I had left them on their desks before Christmas, and surely he had received it by then. Was he feeling awkward too? It kinda seemed like it, and that's not what I had planned at all.

Anyway, today is New Year's Day, 09! I'm sick. In fact, I was so sick last night I fell asleep at 10pm and woke up at 3am, thus missing the ringing in of the new year. Tonight I'm having a murder mystery dinner party at my apartment, which means I need to push through whatever it is I have by tonight. Lots of vitamin C, Zinc, Green Tea, cold medicine. It also means I need to clean my apartment, and finally finish unpacking. I know, it's been 2 months! My bedroom isn't quite finished because I was waiting for my friend to finish the whale on my wall. Yes, you read that correctly.

Anyway, I should get to cleaning and germ fighting. Happy New Year and here's to not caring who knows you are lazy!

Thanksgiving Playlist (subject to change without notice)

2008-11-20T21:35:00.001-05:00

The Pitch

2008-11-04T11:02:00.003-05:00

Let me start by saying I'm officially moved! Yay! And secondly, I believe I may be starting a new blog. That's right, I know. My friend has nearly completely convinced me and since we've been talking about it, ideas have been flowing. The premise is basically my paranoia. It will be my outlet for every disease I think I have, or how I think I'm going to get fired, or basically anything that I'm worried about. Apparently, everytime I see her I'm convinced I have another disease and she thinks it would be hilarious. So that will be coming soon i guess.

In other news, it's Election Day!!! How exciting! Also, my mom just called and said she thinks she has appendicitis. She's drinking the contrast stuff now and has a test at 2:45 est. She sounds so sad! That sucks. She recently had her gall bladder removed so this is just one more thing to add to her plate. Ugh. Anyway, not quite the way I wanted the day to start, but hopefully she'll be fine and it will be a kidney stone or something. She can pass it and be on her way. Okay, well off to the shower.

Moving Stress........Again

2008-10-30T11:05:00.002-04:00

Oh my gosh. Lists and lists and plans and fears are circulating like no other today. It's Thursday, and for those of you counting, two days to my official move in. And my apartment is wrecked. Wrecked! It seems packed, kind of, but now that it's so close, I'm realizing yet again, why I hate moving. It's all the little things. Like how last night I carted my 5 gallons of emergency earthquake water, that I had forgotten I had, to the new place. How I had bought a towel rack that I want to take with me, and my shower head in the shower. The curtains hanging in my living room, and how I need to replace the white blinds that were there. Stressed out yet? It is doable in 2 days but I'm working too. So regular packing I had planned plus all these tiny things that I'm remembering, all after or before, (doubtful), work. Not to mention the sheer dirtiness that has stirred up by my moving. And everytime I think I'm making progress, I open another cabinet and sigh. And Friday is Halloween and I'm not sure if I have the time to do anything. Which means cancelling the small plans I had, which was expected. And I don't even remember when or where I'm picking up my Uhaul. Although, I must admit, I'm getting so much help this time for the actual move, I'm nearly speechless. As of right now, I have 6 definites, and 3 maybes. That's a lot of man and woman power. However, that also means that I have to have everything ready to go at 11 when everyone gets here. Including having the doughnuts and coffee I promised. I feel like I've moved lots of things to the new place, as I had this awesome 2 week overlap, but now, it seems insufficient. Which is astounding because, Geez, most people and most times I've moved, there is no overlap. Anyway, I may try to get a few things done this morning, so I should probably get to it. Just getting that off my chest. Expect a relieved and/or post-mortem on Sunday. Cross your fingers for no disaster.

This Is More Than Coincidence

2008-10-18T12:17:00.002-04:00

I've always been paranoid that I have a strange balance between my social and work lives. When one is going great, the other one starts sucking big time. Belief to the point that when good things happen I sit and wait for the other side to fall apart. Well, now, officially, this has become more than paranoia. It is fact. And I even have proof if you're interested.

Wow.

-BCT

More Day In The Life Of---

2008-10-14T19:01:00.002-04:00

friend: [my boss] won't let me have lunch! i have to type while she eats!

me: bitch! call BBB

friend: i hope she gets an allergic reaction to the stupid sanwich

me: yeah seriously

friend: then i can go home early

me: dont forget to close this window!
haha

friend: she is still complaing about her food

me: ugh
well im going to go to osh
and get paint or look at it

friend: have fun!

me: i have 3 hours to kill

friend: wow

me: you want me to bring you food?
at least 3 hours
i can say its a "surprise"

friend: no bc i wont have time to eat it but thank you

me: who cares
maybe it will remind her you are a person
who eats to survive
and i can give her dirty looks
and offer her a spit muffin

friend: that is very generous of you

Remember That Time...

2008-10-14T12:23:00.002-04:00

We were walking down Hollywood Blvd, even though we never go there because I know how freaked out you get. But it seemed like a good idea at the time. The guy on the skateboard didn't know about your fears and whipped past us, wheels loud on the pavement. But I held you close, and could sense you by my side, so I didn't turn around to check on you because I felt your feet beside mine. I literally could feel you trembling in fear, but I tried to hurry through the busy streets hoping that we'd be at the next block soon. And I heard people screaming, but that's normal for Hollywood. And cars honking. And I turn and look and you have somehow escaped me and the footsteps behind mine were not yours at all, but Jack's instead. You have fled to the street, attempting to get to the other side where you may feel safer, and I see the car coming, and thinking back now I don't know if it was really going that slow or if, in an act of natural human masochism, my brain wanted me to remember every detail so that when I played the moment over and over again, I could forever picture it seamlessly. And in slow motion the car stops and you guys just stare at each other. I have no idea what I say then, but I am panicked. And you somehow make your way back to me, probably because I'm pulling you there with my words, but you are subdued, and odd, and I can't stop shaking. And when we make our way back home, you lay on the couch in peace and hopefully thankfulness, and when I attempt to hug you, you yell at me! And that's when I know that you know I wasn't looking behind me, and I totally feel like a terrible friend now.

Today has been better. I'm glad you're okay, and hope you understand, but you are never going to Hollywood Blvd again.

A Day In the Life

2008-10-13T18:14:00.004-04:00

friend: sometimes I Like to edit with my shoes off

me: word

me: so my online editor was talking all online to me today
im like can we talk in offline terms please
and he's like, uhhh
he was trying to confuse me
im like, tell me what you want
and hes all like well this is this and this so if you are delivering like this
and im like for the thousanth time, we aren't delivering like that!
and then i threw his keyboard on the floor and stomped on his mouse hand

friend: really?
jesus
sounds a little over the top

me: it was a scene
unscripted scene that is
he asked for it
i hate when people can't answer questions directly
im like why are you still talking, that was a yes or no question!

=======

me: i want that right now

friend:me too
im hungry1
!\\
so hungry i cant type

me: haha

me: (not haha like haha you're hungry, but haha to you cant type bc youre hungry)

=======

friend: ok so im getting my haircut tomorrow and its out of some woman's house. do i still need to tip her?

me: yeah im pretty sure
unless she says otherwise

friend: oh thats stupid
that just does not seem fair

me: yeah i dont know for sure though!

friend: well you are the 3rd person to say i have to
so im sure im going to be stuck with it

me: maybe it will be cheaper though

friend: ehh i thought so
she said depends on what i do but 80-100

me: ugh

friend: im sure bc i have thick hair she'll up it

me: thats pretty expensive!
she better weave in some gold

friend: i know!!!

Chilly Mornings and Other Observations

2008-10-10T11:08:00.003-04:00

Oh my. It's so cold in LA this morning my toes are on their way to being frost-bitten. My nose is running and despite wearing a fleece and pants, I'm shivering. The real strange thing about the cold is that it's probably only 60 and I'm acting like it's in the middle of winter in NY. I'm so used to mild days, anything that strays is extreme. Also, most likely by noon today it will be 75 and sunny.

Wow, the stock market is looking quite scary, eh? That's a whole big economic discussion I'm not prepared for other than to give a Joey Lawrence, "Whoa" and move on.

Move on to.... Okay one of my biggest complaints with my dad is that he writes me emails like he is a college professor lecturing a class. The other day, I wrote him an email that was like, "Woo hoo! Check out my new apt!" He wrote me back and was like, "I'm happy to hear you are pleased with your new accommodations." It's like, "Accommodations"? Seriously? Digs, crib, apt, apartment, home, nest, anything! Accommodations is so formal. And then I'm reading some blog entries I've written and realize I'm totally starting to do that too! And I don't mean to do it! I tried to count the "quite"s in my last post and gave up. Is this pretenious talk hereditary? Eck, if so. I don't want to start emailing my friends with, "I would like to propose dinner for us tonight at the vivacious and loverly resturant located in Los Feliz on which we frequent." Or something like that.

That is all. Just a quick few things before my shower. *Pleasant day to all.

*This is purposely sophisticated.

And just for fun:

(Yes, that is "Strawberry Manilow")

Work n' Things

2008-10-08T23:49:00.004-04:00

I just recently started a new job - one of many short-term gigs I've had in the past three months - but today I came to the realization that I've learned more about the industry in the past week with this job than the nearly 2 years I've lived here. Or maybe just became conscious of what I've learned.

It's such a small world out here in the industry.

I work in this small little office where it is me and an editor and two producers. They are rented out to us by the team of technicians next door. The editor and I started comparing companies we've worked for, and strikingly enough, they're nearly all the same. But him being in the industry longer, he has better contacts at these companies than I do. Friends. He hangs out with these people that I want to get jobs with again. Reputation follows you everywhere. You can't blow off a job or do a bad job, and not expect it to effect future employment.

Networking is so important that just calling it "important" seems not enough. This guy not only hangs out with these people, he's actually putting together his own show. To which I immediately said, "If you need an editor...".

I'm not sure my point is coming across just yet. I want to say laugh at every joke, say every idea is fantastic, but that seems so fake it's hard for me say. But that's what I would say for the mere fact that you don't know where you're next job is coming from.

Last week I was in the office by myself and became quite good friends with all the technician guys. Being as non-demanding as I could and grateful for every deck they hooked uo for me. This week I learned that these guys get calls all the time for people looking for editors. I told them I'd leave my resume with them and they said, "absolutely". An unlikely source for a job, but here I was gaining new contacts from computer technicians. Who actually, small world-y enough, know they guy who taught me about an important piece of editing hardware via phone when I lived in NY. Yet another connection that I never expected to make.

And lastly, and most importantly, in the nicest way possible, demand respect from your producers! It shows them you are worth it if you think you are worth it. This is lesson I brought with me from my last job where I was working in a cubicle and another editor told me to demand a bay. I didn't because I didn't want to be labeled "high-maintenance", and she ended up asking for me. When you make these requests and they are fulfilled, it tells you that your employer thinks keeping you happy and productive is worth the headache of rearranging an office for you. So I brought that with me to this job, and immediately on the phone, did something I never do, but said, "I'll do this job for x amount of money." Excuse the alegbra, but where x = more than the going rate for the position. By doing this I was telling them that I can get work for that amount, and that I'm worth it. A bit risky but the job in question I was quite over-qualified for. Then when an issue came up where I didn't think I was going to be making that rate, I immediately called my supervisor and said, "Am I actually going to make x with the hours that have become standard for us?" She immediately rectified the situation.

Anyway, it's been such an eye-opening week for me, successfully opening up 3 quite promising job opportunity paths. It's such a small world out here, that I almost feel like every job I apply to, I'm applying with many of my friends. Therefore it becomes all about contacts. Getting your name out there and your reputation too. Being fun to work with is almost as important as knowing the machines. Anyway, I feel like this is a jumbled heap of obviousness, but I had to get it out of my head. It's just interesting when you find yourself knowingly playing into stereotypes - stereotypes that are there for a reason.

Network, network, network!

Give Me A Brake...Light

2008-09-27T12:56:00.002-04:00

Why is it that every car I get behind in LA has no brake light? I mean seriously people, get that fixed! It's so dangerous, especially when you have people like me who are texting or looking at their phones for info and all the sudden, you stop and I don't see that you stop because in my peripheral vision there's no bright light that comes on alerting me that you stopped forcing me to slam on brakes. And it's like a joke everyone is playing on me- "Oh my brake light is out, let me get in front of that car that has a bullseye on its front." I thought I was being paranoid, but last night alone, I counted, and for the total of probably five cars that I was behind, 3 did not have brake lights! I mean really! Especially when you're in a crowded city driving at night. And the one that irritated me the most was the one that was packed full of people, driving well below the speed limit, on a 2 lane road where I couldn't pass, and my general strategy of riding the persons bumper until they realized they were being an a-hole, only put me in more danger of not being able to stop when they would ride their brakes slowly, making it almost imperceptible to me that they are stopping. I know what your thinking, I'm the pot calling the kettle black on the whole a hole thing cause I'm riding their bumper, but this is LA, and when you're in a 35 zone, at least have the decency of going 30 so people who are using shortcuts to avoid traffic jams can actually come out feeling victorious in their knowledge of secret roads. And maybe since you don't have a brake light, you should at least put a blinker on when you turn so you're at least putting up a front that you care about the person behind you not slamming into you. And that's another thing, people need to learn how to use their freaking blinkers in this city. Someone literally cut in front of me the other day from the lane to my right to do a u-turn in front of me, just as I was, with blinker alerting my fellow drivers I was doing so, merging into the left hand turn lane, and this car had no blinker, completely disregarding that they were not the only people on the road, and when I honked at them, they had the audacity to look at me like I was doing something wrong, which is maybe the most ludacris thing I've ever seen. And I might not be the best driver in the world, and yes, I have little patience sometimes, but if you're going to drive around oblivious to those around you, don't come near me because I've had my fill of no brake-light, no blinker-using, speed limit driving people who probably don't have insurance, and who will probably just leave the scene after me or some other impatient driver fails to stop because they haven't signaled, like the kind of people in LA that don't ever stop for fender benders, despite the fact that it was clearly their fault, because they could give a crap that their $400 car got yet another scratch on it, and...yes I'm bitter. Some dude the other day, slammed into the back of my friends car at a stoplight, and then, proceeded to go around them and leave the scene. Well they messed with the wrong people, because my friends cousin who was driving, pulled out and followed the guy, getting his liscense plate number and then proceeding to pull in front of him, forcing him to stop, only long enough for them to get a visual on the guys face, who looked like he could care less that this was going on, and then my friends pulled over and were taken to the hospital for major whiplash and possible fractures on their body because they were in so much pain. LIterally. Anyway, I sound like a bitter old lady, but driving in LA is the most ridiculous thing ever. I mean for the most part, people are generally pretty good about being respectful and if you put your blinker on, someone will let you over. I even have patience for people that cut me off if they're using their blinker, but no signal jerks, are on my list.

Whew. That was a rant. Excuse my negativity it just gets me all annoyed. The word pet peeve comes to mind. Okay have a good day and don't forget to signal!

Family Fued

2008-09-10T14:33:00.005-04:00

I got in a fight this week with my brother, in what I can only hope is for the best. We are currently not speaking, which is bizarre to me because even when we'd punch each other mercilessly when we were kids, five minutes later we'd be watching TV together and laughing. The story is he went to a concert with some of my friends, a NIN concert I had no interest in, and as I was getting ready for my evening out, I get texts that he had just yelled at them because someone spilled his beer. Okay, not only was I embarrassed that my brother had gotten out of line with my friends, I was worried because he gets in these moods where the smallest things will set him off to an unbelievably non-rational place. Consider my night ruined. I tried to call him, but nothing. I got word he was calmed down and hoped that they had worked things out. Still with me knowing the next day I would have to confront him about it.

Cut to: The next day.

I try and get in contact with him all day and nothing. Finally at 8pm, I call and he answers. So I ask him what happened and immediately he starts getting defensive. The story was that he had gone to get someone a beer and when he got back, not only was everyone gone, but his $13 beer was spilled. Annoying, yes. So when they returned, he said, in a tone that isn't so sweet, "Someone spilled my beer! Someone spilled my -bleeping- beer!" Anyway, I told him as sweetly as possible that it wasn't the right way to deal with the situation and he said, "I can yell at whoever I want!" "I can be angry if I want to!" "I do what I want!" Then I told him at the very least he should apologize to MY FRIEND, to which he responded, "I'm tired of apologizing my whole life!" Now, I'm like, "Okkkay. Here we gooooo. Act 1, Scene 1." Over-dramatic much? Anyway, long conversation short, it went bad, then good, then suddenly, very bad. He wasn't listening to anything I was saying and was taking it as a personal attack, even though all I was trying to get through to him is that I was worried because he was showing signs of someone who couldn't control their frustrations, and then suddenly, after talking to a brick wall for 20 minutes, I snapped, (a sign the temper thing might be hereditary), and said, "You know what? Fine! Yell at your friends all you want, but don't you ever yell at MY friends ever again!" And hung up. And then silence. For two days. So yesterday, I wrote an email that as sweetly as possible kept my position but reiterated I just wanted him to be happy and to be able to control these things. And nothing! I'm so at a loss at to what to do. It's eating at me! I can't stand it knowing he's hating me right now. The good news is, something I said must have struck a cord with him because he did end up apologizing to my friend, via Facebook. So now I've told my sister, and she's all worried but I can't go to him now. I have to wait for him. I think? Anyway, I hope that he's doing some self-reflection and that he won't completely fall off the face of the earth, like my cousin did at about his age, where he cut off all communication from the family, dropped out of school, and is out roaming the world somewhere, rumor has it, Los Angeles.

Umm, so that's what's on my mind right now. And finding a new job, and a new apartment, and getting a response back from an old crush about a wedding (not ours), and keeping the bugs out of my current apt. But the weather is beautiful here now, and I love September and the ocean, and not working. I'm finding peace the best way I know how:

Not everything is bad right now, but things seem to never be perfect!

Sigh

2008-09-04T23:45:00.001-04:00

Finishing Projects!

2008-08-25T15:37:00.003-04:00

Unemployed and finally getting some things off my to-do list. Here's the oil pastel pic I did this week! Not the best photo, but I'm pretty happy with it!

Are You Watching The Olympics?

2008-08-13T01:07:00.004-04:00

It's my favorite time of four years. Summer Olympics. Here are my thoughts.

-I'm not feeling the synchronized diving thing.

-Men's gymnastics was breath-taking! And how adorable is Alexander Artemev? Until he talks to the camera that is. I know he's excited, and I'm hoping that's it, but he comes off as someone who I'd find extremely grating. He's adorable though, and what a way to end his first Olympic run! How amazing! What a fantastic opportunity!

-Jonathan Horton blew me away with his flawless night.

-Swimming is where it is at this year! I could watch Michael Phelps all day long. (I might be a "Phelps Phan", har-har. Okay my sense of humor is lacking at the moment, give me time.) He's maybe the most amazing thing ever. And, seriously, freaking adorable. Lovely and humble on camera, and I officially love him.

-More swimming, did you see the comeback by Lezak?! I know, I'm hitting all the obvious points, but WOW.

-Another semi-negative thought, not really getting into volleyball either. Syncronized diving I get, (the same thing for an hour, give or take a few nuisances you need slo-mo for), but I thought I'd be into volleyball, given the high scoring potentional the dream team from America has. But I drift.

I'm a day behind so I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the possible Olympic-record breaking swim tonight by Phelps, and women's gynastics too, but just wanted to tip my hat to fellow Olympic-watchers out there. Just fantastic as always. Love the Olympics.

I'm working through my last week of work on this show, after being extended and extended and extended, and this is seriously the last week. And I'm the last segment editor standing for the finish, (lots of responsibility, lots of glory!). I feel like I just did my freshman Olympics with these last few months. I'm beat and proud and tired and need a break! Next week there will be lots of re-couping. (And writing!)

Creatively Drained and Shaken

2008-07-31T01:22:00.003-04:00

My current job, despite its perks, (weekly massages being the most notable), is creatively draining. I have a ton of unfinished projects I have piling up at my feet and I can't muster together a well formed sentence vocally, much less written. Not to mention the picture I saw the other day that made me want to draw it and frame it immediately. AND not to mention the music video I've been working on for almost an entire year (!!!) and can't seem to finish.

But the point of this post was to most eloquently describe the insane thing that I experienced yesterday. An earthquake. Yes, I'm sure you've heard. Well I felt it. Big time. As I wrote about here, I experienced my first earthquake last year. Well this time was different.

Backing up a little bit first, earthquakes have been on my mind big time lately. I can't explain it, but I've even mentioned it to a few friends lately. For starters, a friend had mentioned last year when the little one happened that she left her toilet seat up when she went to work so that if anything happened and she couldn't get home, her dog could get water. Well I never do that, mainly because my pup will and does drink freely from the toilet when I'm not looking. And I try to discourage her behavior by keeping it closed. Anyway, both Monday and Tuesday I inexplicably started thinking "Big One" and left the toilet seat up.

I also had friends in town this weekend and was telling them about my earthquake kit after seeing someone at a grocery store buying a gallon of water.

I left for work yesterday thinking about maybe taking my framed picture in the den off of the wall. No kidding. But I didn't, as I don't like to play into my own paranoia, or now should I say, physic senses.

Needless to say, when I realized I was experiencing an earthquake yesterday, I was shocked. It wasn't like last time. It came on slowly, at first sounding and feeling like someone was running down the hall, or a big truck was coming by. Slowly, or as slow as a 20 second total experience could be, it built until everything on my desk was shaking and the door the my office was unhappy on its hinges. I heard people outside in the hall and whipped open my door, immediately taking refuge in my doorway. "Earthquake!" people were yelling, and there were natives smiling a bit as people like me stood stricken in a doorway. When it seemed over, everyone was heading outside. I followed, still shaking, but no longer from the earth.

I spent the rest of my day waiting for the aftershocks. When I went home to check on my pup, my picture was still hanging strong.

But just another reminder of the thing that lurks on most SoCal residents minds: The Big One.

I'll be stocking up on even more earthquake kit items this weekend.

Where Does Time Go?

2008-07-25T11:07:00.002-04:00

I can't believe it's almost August and it's already Friday again and that I'm almost one year older. It's been an exciting year for me but I can't wrap my head around the fact that time is flying. FLYING. Mondays fade into Fridays and Fridays fade into Sundays. I had so much extracurriculars to do this summer and nothing has been done. Anyway, that's it. Just wanted to express how freaked I was that time goes by so quickly and one day really soon I'm going to wake up and be 40 and think back to these days as if they were yesterday.

This weekend should be exciting as one of my friends from high school is coming to visit. I'm going to try and savor this time more than I have been in the past. When we first talked about this trip, I was sure it was miles away. Now it's here and the space in between is the same week over and over again.

I Want Your $$$$!

2008-07-17T20:49:00.004-04:00

But despite living amongst gold diggers and such in the tawdry land of Lost Angels, this money I want will go to a good, no make that GREAT, cause!

Please sponser me in my walk for AIDS research and assistance this October in the LA AIDS Walk! Interested????

Go Here To Sponser Me With Dollars

I know these are tough times but I'll take $ or $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. So even if you can just give $, it WILL make a difference.

I'm Sore...and Bruised...and Tired

2008-06-24T10:58:00.003-04:00

This weekend I went swimming and was able to live my dream of being to go swimming with my pooch. Unfortunately, she didn't take to the water as much as I was hoping and proceeded to kick the living socks off of me. And I tried a few times, so the end result was a battered me. Then last night, despite having not picked up a softball in three years, I played in a game. I was outfield and the lowlight of my game was when a grounder came to me, and I tripped, on nothing, got the ball, and threw it to god-knows where. The highlight was when a grounder came to me, a little to the right, and I slid on my knees, scooped it up and tossed it to second. Between the falls and all the running, my legs are sore and I'm pretty sure my knee wants to disown me. I was playing on the team from my new job and am going to feel quite silly limping into work this morning.

In other news, I went to The Abbey in West Hollywood for dinner and drinks on Saturday and a newly married gay couple walked in. The whole place erupted into cheers and clapping and it was such a wonderful moment that tears pricked my eyes.

My parents are coming to stay with me this weekend, actually sleep in my apartment and everything, and I'm thinking it will be a good weekend if it doesn't end in divorce or manslaughter.

Funny how time flies when I'm writing on this thing. Must go get in the shower. Have a pleasant day.

Oh and I hate to report this but Spark, for those of you who may be checking in, is not quite done yet. I feel like such a jerk for not finishing it yet but it's been a busy couple of months. It's coming soon-ish. I'm sorry for the wait.

The Neighborhood

2008-06-15T07:53:00.004-04:00

Man oh man. So me and my friend Emily used to always talk about how we wanted to get into a bar fight one day. Just sock some snotty-totty in the face with a groucho-guncho. Of course, us being loving and compassionate people never did. And I never even wanted to...until tonight. So me and a few friends went to this bar tonight which was clearly 21+. A friend and I were in line with several, several other ladies when these two girls, who, going on best guesses here, couldn't have been much older than 15, walk past the line straight into the bathroom. Well needless to say, everyone was like "Whoa, whoa, whoa there". These chicks were definitely not old enough to be there and clearly weren't polite enough to wait in line. So they skipped ahead. Well these Mary-Kate and Ashley wannabes didn't say a word and just went right in the bathroom, and waited in the line that finished in there.

Okay, one: I'm able to overlook the whole fake-id thing if you maybe act like you have a brain and

two: Don't start talking loudly using tooo much profanity, (where it's clear you are trying to prove how "mature" you are), and talk about your "boyfriend", who heaven help us all, was at least close to 15 and not one of the sleezy MEN outside of the bathroom.

Okay, well the girls in front of us aren't having it and apparently, (we missed most of the fun part), said their words and skipped in front of the teens. Well the Teens retailated by speaking loudly and obnoixiously in their most sarcastic voice, "Oh I'm so cool, I'm soooo cool!!" Oh, I hate you. These little girls were really starting to grate on me, when luckily a stall opened up and they went inside. (It was a full stall so their horrible voices could be drowned out.)

This was more than kids trying to have fun. This was kids that should be glad I'm a nice person. Because I'm calm and laid back and I almost slapped them. In fact, I asked a friend of mine to bail me out if I got arrested because I was THAT sure I was going to explode.

It was the worst type of girl...ever. I'm not doing a great job of explaining but I almost called Emily to say, "My time is here".

Okay, so I wasn't going to let these kids ruin my night! Late night we went to my friends house with karaoke and I had stopped by my house to get some stuff and I saw my neighbor. I invited him along and he came with.

We started talking about the people in our building and this one car who has, very long story, but constantly been an issue. Well I mentioned in this that now that he parked beside me, he was slamming his door into the side of my car.

My neighbor did not take well to this and I agreed.

We went, we sang. Etc, etc.

Okay, so we just got back a little while ago, 5am west coast time, and we pull up in the driveway and when we get out of the car, Neighbor eyes car beside me and says, "We should do something to his car". I laugh, and say "Like what?"

At this point I'm getting slightly nervous, but he doesn't need any more words. Next thing I know, he is stepping onto the hood of the car. I am laughing but still not completely clear on what's going on...

Yes, and then I hear it. He may, or may not have been peeing on this car. Oh man! That's the craziest thing ever. But somehow it makes me nervous that it's going to get traced back to me. And my car is going to get even more dents in it. but for some reason, right now, I think it might be worth it.

Ask me again tomorrow morning.

Also today in the neighborhood, a pipe burst and my street flooded like 2 feet! Up to our second step to our building! Crazy!

And then when I got home this afternoon, there was a hole where my street once was and my water didn't work. As far as I can tell, all has been restored.

Holy cow. I just noticed the sun was rising. Must go to sleep.

Buenos Noches

Is 25 Too Old To Be Put Up For Adoption?

2008-06-10T22:28:00.002-04:00

I think I need to stop talking to my parents about politics.

Also, baby is here! All my one or two readers already know this but I can't write a blog today and not say: WOOOOO!

Untilted (like Snow Patrol)

2008-06-10T00:39:00.002-04:00

What's it called when you see something done better than you think you could have ever done, and it makes you discouraged? Creative jobs suck that way. I get in these slumps so easy and it totally throws me off my game. With editing, it makes me go on doubting everything I cut.

i watched this music video the other day that totally got me feeling all doubtful. And I'm sitting in my substandard cubicle, (editing in a cubicle is just one more casualty of editing software becoming so cheap that you can pack six editors in a small room that would once house just one Avid), and I'm cutting this stuff that I never really wanted to cut, but now that I've been forced to make a career out of it, think I've done okay for myself. But not being the best, (I know what you're thinking, and yes, I'm one of those), gets under my skin so much that I can barely sit still in my chair when I'm screening with my producer. But it makes me wonder, hope, think...will I be better at narrative if I can ever get my hand out of my wallet long enough to find out?

This stuff I've been doing is so documentary-esque. And I used to think it was the no-script part that got me. While that's certainly part of it, it's also a different type of editing. Where edits are made of out necessity and fast cuts and flashy transitions are used to speed things along. Where the cuts aim to be subtle but the producer never appreciates the extra beat you leave to let something breathe. Where it's tighten, tighten, tighten. While I appreciate the general note of, "Okay let's speed things along..." I have this thread in my mind, hopefully from the tiny twenty minutes I spent with the lovely narrative where I feel like nuances are appreciated. But, mind you, I haven't even gotten the chance to find out in the professional world.

So that's my career woes in a nutshell. Basically I don't even know if I am going to be good at what I want to do. And I kind of have to be. And I'm not the best at the alternative. Hmmm. Anyway, that's it for now.

eh

2008-06-06T10:51:00.001-04:00

Oh man. I have been feeling pretty sick for the last 24 hours. I had to dart from a restaurant last night just to keep from disgusting all the patrons. When I did get home, I had a nice throw up session which left me feeling a little better. This morning, my stomach is still not completely happy, especially when I think of something I ate the other day which must of been the culprit because my stomach turns at the mere thought of it.

Somehow I can't get it out of my mind and am seriously wondering if I should go to work today.

On to more exciting news, my friend should be having a baby in the near future and I am soo excited for her!

Suffering a life of middle child syndrome, I got her two little boys a gift of their own. Tees from threadless. Apparently the risk I took of getting children clothes, which from my experience is usually a miss, paid off! They love them. That excitement has been staying with me all week! I love being the cool aunt!

Anyway, kailey, I can't wait to meet you!

Can't wait for pictures!

uodate: Okay, totally went to work and turned right back around. Eh.

AH!

2008-06-02T01:48:00.002-04:00

Ever had a once in a lifetime moment only to find out you jumped the gun too fast and RUINED it?!? Me! I did tonight!

I Got My Hair Did

2008-06-01T01:20:00.007-04:00

Yes, it's one of those lame pictures where you can tell I'm holding the camera out, and yes, I'm making a completely posey face, but understand people, I take terrible photos so when I had to take one for my east coast people, I had to be prepared to take about a million, and yes, I make faces in all of them. Judge me not for the photo, but for the hair itself. Woot!

I'm Late, but... WOO!

2008-05-27T02:15:00.005-04:00

This makes me happy to be a Californian!

A little late but, congrats to the gay community in California, and everywhere! As I once told a close friend of mine, she will be legally able to get married in her lifetime! Woot, woot!

Had to include this! It says it all!

The Very Best Risotto

2008-05-24T13:23:00.002-04:00

I'm easily influenced apparently, as everything I've been working on lately has made me want to do it. I'm working on an environmental show and am trying to go as organic as possible. Well there was this cooking segment where they made some risotto and it looked so good I decided to try and make some. I took their recipe and since it was incomplete, paired it with some recipes I found online, and made my own recipe. And let me just say, it's maybe the best thing I've ever made. Here's the recipe:

1 1/2 cups of Arborio Rice
1 Cup of Chardonnay
4 Cups of Organic Chicken stock
olive oil
a yellow onion
fresh asparagus
a tomato
fresh parsley
1/2 - 1 stick of butter
fresh shredded parmesan (like Digorno)

Okay, on medium heat, heat up a little bit of olive oil in a frying pan. When it's nice and hot, slowly add the chopped yellow onion. When the onion starts getting a little brownish, added a couple of handfuls of one inch pieces of the chopped asparagus. Saute those until they look nice and yummy. Add the rice. No liquid-yet. Stir the three of those around, so that the rice gets shiny with oil. Continue stirring for a few minutes. (I'm bad at measuring time.) Then add 1/3 cup of the chicken stock. Stir. When the chicken stock is fully absorbed, add another 1/3 cup. Continue until you've put 3 cups, in 1/3 increments, in the rice, (slowly, waiting each time until it's absorbed.) Now add the parsley, chopped. Mix that in and then continue the 1/3 cup of chicken stock routine three more times. Then, once all that is absorbed, switch to the white wine. Again, 1/3 cups, waiting each time for it to be completely absorbed. At this point, it should start absorbing slower. When that happens, you're getting close to deliciousness! Once, everything is absorbed, add the chopped tomato. (The fresher, the better. Go organic people!) Stir it around, until the tomato gets warm and soft and is integrated with the rice. Then, in slices, add the butter. A whole stick if you want, or a half a stick. Depends on how much you love butter I guess. Once everything is mixed, spoon to a plate and sprinkle the parmesan on top.

Prepare your mouth for the best thing ever. Eat. Love. Dance in circles. Thank me. Smile at a stranger.

It is that good.

The whole process takes about 45 mins to an hour and will feed three hungry adults. Or two really hungry adults.

So yummy!

You're Welcome

It's A Creepy Night Out

2008-05-22T00:09:00.002-04:00

There's this wind blowing that if I were in NC I would recoginize as the wind before a bad thunderstorm. I think I've written about them before, but LA has these things called Santa Ana winds that creep me out. For the reason stated above - but the rain never comes. Tonight, in addition to the wild winds, the sky is a terrible shade of smog. An orange, almost pink color covering everything and furthering the illusion of forthcoming rain.

I'll snuggle on my couch, in my living room lit by my new lamp and watch Law and Order while the open windows allow some of the wayward wind in. Sounds like a good plan.

Sometimes You Just Have To STOP! (hammer time)

2008-05-21T00:56:00.002-04:00

This will most likely be brief since my new old fav is coming on right now, (Law and Order - I go through obsessive phases). But today, as I was driving home to grab some lunch, I saw something unbelievably unusual. I can only hope that I can paint this scenario to you with as much detail as I witnessed, allowing you the same appreciation.

Just another example of the fun of living in the city. A favorite story of mine is a few months ago when I literally nearly bumped into a couple having sex on outdoor apartment stairs near mine, as I walked by with my dog within three feet of their, ahem, coupling. They were not bothered. At all.

Okay, so I was driving today when I got stopped at a light. I was just glancing around the somewhat deserted street, (no big businesses, not a whole lot of people), and I spied something that I couldn't tear my eyes away from. This woman. Mid-aged, no visable marks of homelessness, just standing alone on the sidewalk, her bags she had obviously been carrying dropped to her feet, and her arms, bent at the elbow, palms down on either side of her. Her hips were swaying, and she was enjoying the pure bliss of some unheard music. She had dropped her bags on the middle of the sidewalk, and with a huge smile on her face begun to dance. Now my windows were down, and I immediately turned down my radio, which was pretty low to begin with seeing as I was waiting on a phone call, so it wasn't my music she was listening to. And there - there was silence. Or as close to silence as one can get in mid-day Hollywood.

I guess sometimes you just have to stop and hear the music. She seemed to be having a pretty good day.

How To Blow Eight Hundred Dollars In One Weekend

2008-05-20T01:15:00.004-04:00

That's depressing. I kinda went on a spending spree this weekend. Eck. After successfully finishing me two-job work week, I got two paychecks. So I decided I should get new stuff for my apartment. (And YET ANOTHER bridesmaids dress.)

And then I came home and checked the damage, and woo-wee, I can swipe a card to death. While I want to buy the two Mary Roach books I don't have, Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex and Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife, AND the Chelsea Handler book, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, I think my card, (and account), could use a break.

My damage went towards:

A side table for my couch,
a lamp to go atop,
wine glasses,
(non-related!) candles,
a couple of new coffee cups,
dog toys and doggy blanket,
a car wash,
a tank of gas (GUH),
bought dinner for a friend,
the aforementioned Bridesmaids Dress,
and a wooden figurine guy in which I can paint and decorate to my hearts desire, and was only 5 bucks but thought it was one of the cooler things I purchased.

I rationalize by believing I helped the economy a little this weekend.

But yay! Lamp light! No more overhead! How exciting. In hindsight, the lamp, table, and dress were the three objectives for the weekend. And now I sit with all these new dishes and stuff, and a hole in my pocket where money once was.

New job is good. It's good work-wise, friend-wise I feel like a total loser, not seeming to really click with anyone. And I think my boss hates me. And the guy who sits in the cubicle, (that's right, I'm editing in a cubicle), next to me, freely interchanges "bro" for "bra" and I think I may go deaf from turning my volume up so loud to try and drown the sac-relig out. "Bra, you got to check this out. Bra, Bra, Braaaa." Vom.

But lots of work, a little play, and lots of stress-relieving shopping going on. (Isn't it ironic that I shop to relieve stress, but after checking my account, the stress comes back full force?)

Oh and then there's this fun, but oh so speculative and probably just me projecting, (it needs to be taken with less than a grain of salt), thing, in which I went to the beach on Sunday morning and got quite a surprise. I was driving down Sunset to pick up my brother, (or "bra"), and I saw a black Range Rover with a brunette in a yellow hat leaving the street in which my fav Matt in the world lives, and it was definitely a drive of shame hour. Okay so if you know how many black Range Rovers there are in LA, (I counted fourty in thirty minutes once), you will know that the probability at what I am suggesting, without actually suggesting, mind you, was probably me wanting to see that. If that made any sense to you, your name is probably Christie, or you are as insane as I.

I love wine. I love decorating my apartment. I love visitors. I love a clean apartment, that oh-so rarely happens. I love my new wine glasses! I started the "I loves" for a reason and now it has escaped me.

Another random thought: whatever happened to the Charlotte Hornets? I told you it was random.

Memorial Day weekend is on the horizon!!!! Wooooo-to the-Hooo!

Work, work, work! (Sleep?)

2008-05-05T10:09:00.005-04:00

I am up early as the sun today to start my hell week. It's actually awesome week because I ended up getting an amazing job last week! Okay, so since I have a little time, (woke up before my alarm convinced I was going to sleep in), I'll tell you the whole story. I'm going to channel Chandler for a second and have a "my diamond shoes are too tight and my hundreds won't fit in my wallet" kind of moment.

So a couple of weeks ago, despite having a job, (same place I've worked for like forever), I started applying to a few jobs to see if anything would come up. If somehow I could make the transition to editing. Well, last Wednesday, I got an interview for what I thought was an editing position, so I jumped for joy and then went to the interview. (I should probably start switching that order.) It ended up they thought I was better suited for the assistant position. I was not really looking for an assistant job, but they were awesome and really wanted me to work with them, offering me more than they had budgeted for and calling my phone to remind me that they really wanted me. On the other hand, my current job, who I went ahead and told I was considering the other job, was very ho-hum about the whole thing and didn't offer me anything to stay. So I went ahead and accepted the other offer, even though hours and money were the same. My job told me that this Thursday (night) would be my last day.

Not ten minutes later though, did I get a call from a company looking for an editor! Of course, this is an opportunity I couldn't pass up. So I went into the interview on Friday and they later called me and told me I got the job. I accepted without hesistation and called the other job. I apologized profusely, but they were totally cool and completely understood. Problem is, new job starts today. (days), and old job ends Thursday, (nights). So basically, I'm left working both for this week. How am I going to juggle it all? Only time will tell!

But editing, woo!!!

And then, yesterday, my phone was stolen from the beach, after I had just taken beautiful pictures of a seal that had come to rest on the shore. I knew if I didn't get a new one yesterday, it would be an entire week before I was able to get one. Problem is, since I deactivated mine yesterday, the only way to activate it was to talk to a customer service individual, who wasn't there until today. And in one of my finer blonde moments, I decided I would just call this morning when I woke up. Except for the little fact I don't have a phone. Genius. So now, I guess I will be searching for a phone to borrow today at the new job so I can activate my phone and not be without a lifeline any longer.

Anyway, it's shower time and then work time! Woo! I'm excited and a little scared and just ready for this week to be over! Godspeed readers!

The Holy Grail

2008-04-29T06:51:00.002-04:00

Matthew Perry walked by me last night. Looking hot, I may add! He was at the movies with some friends. The friend I was with has been to the movies 5 times since she's lived in LA, including last night. Three of those five? She's seen Mr. Perry. Lucky girl. After he left, she started talking about how funny it is she's seen him so much to which I promptly responded, "Rachel! Stop stealing my thunder!"

So officially, I've figured out what I do when I see someone I love. I freeze and go silent and concentrate on not passing out. The probability of me ever being able to actually speak words is so slim I wonder if I'll ever have the guts to say, "Good job in Numb", which is what I had been planning on saying when I finally crossed paths with Matthew.

My pup is sick but she's not acting like it except a few choice moments in which my heart falls to my feet. We're going to the vet tomorrow to figure out just what's going on. I'm pretty nervous about that actually. Moving on...

In the span of twenty four hours, I got two exciting job prospects placed in my "Maybe" column.

And, you know when you make coffee and it's all wrong, too watery or too strong or during the process of coffee-making, the filter was pushed inwards causing grounds to spill into the maker, and its so much that when you put in the creamer you can see the grounds floating? And you try to drink it anyway, but it's so bad you have to deprive your body of caffeine for a longer time, so you pour the coffee into the sink and frown as the too light or too dark coffee circles in the drain, (or more realistically, splashes down the pile of dirty dishes, going to a drain that you know is down there somewhere). And you vow to make it worth your while this time by making the best pot of coffee you have ever made, but when you finally get it all made, you taste it, and while it's a little better, it's not the best cup you've ever made, but you drink it anyway, because third times a charm doesn't apply to you when you need caffeine and don't want to waste anymore of your freshly ground coffee, and even though it doesn't taste just right, you smell it and need it, so you take it down with a grimace and vow that tomorrow, you will make the best pot of coffee you have ever made.

This is how I feel about most of my life right now.

On the subject of coffee, just wanted to let you know that while I still love my coffeemaker, the honeymoon is sooo over. Just not putting out the way it use to, you know? (That was just too easy.)

The Great Misheard

2008-04-20T08:38:00.003-04:00

Okay, my favorite misheard lyrics are always when I think a song is saying something really sweet, and then, well, I discover that's not the case. I was lying in bed a few minutes ago looking up lyrics of Liz Phair's cd "Somebody's Miracle" when I found out something that made me laugh out loud.

But first, let me give you a different classic example.

Barenaked Ladies, "Break Your Heart". For years, when it got to the breakdown-screamy part I had always belted out, "And Now I'm In Love With You!" The song is basically about this guy who leads this girl on and she falls for him. She finds out, and they have a big argument. She gives it to him good and breaks it off with him. Now, at this point, I had always assumed that once she left him, he had realized he was in love with her but it was too late and so sad and no one won. But no. It actually says: "And now I'm *over you*, I'll be OK, now that I've got what I want, and that's rid of you - goodbye."

Okay so different story that I laughed about for a while. I was sad, however, that the song isn't quite as downtroddened (in the good way), as it sounds it should be.

Now for Liz Phair. I think I'm going to be doing a whole blog entry on this albim in the future, but for now I'll just say, wow. I love this woman.

Okay, in the song "Got My Own Thing", it's a pretty cheerful beat about this lady and her fella. Now, I was singing part of the chorus, "Oh, boy, I'd love to have beautiful day - you're so bad, watch the silly things you do. Oh boy, I'd love to have beautiful day, I hope you're swinging this way too."

Haha! I realize this is not exactly grammatically correct, but it sounded cute and fun, and I imaged a cute couple eating ice cream in front of a tv in their pjs and laughing.

Not quite. I just discovered the actual lyrics are:

"Oh, boy, I'd love to help, give you enough rope to hang yourself and watch the silly things you do. Oh, boy I'd love to help, give you enough rope to hang yourself - I hope you're swinging this way too."

MUCH DIFFERENT! Ha.

It's so obvious now but----

I don't know why I never knew about this album until very recently. She kinda helped shape my teenage years a bit. She's half of what I am, and half I what I wish I was.

Look up this album ASAP. Love, love, love, love, etc

Spoons

2008-04-18T20:56:00.002-04:00

Here's an actual ad from Facebook I was talking about the other day.

If I had a friend with a spoon collection, I'd be convinced someone was following me. Luckily, I don't. Poor sap who did get that ad and actually is having a problem with their spoon-collecting friend. I imagine they are probably thoroughly fruked out right now.

My Lost Might Be Voice

2008-04-13T09:24:00.004-04:00

My night as is follows:

It started off with my (male) friend coming to pick me up. Of course, the moment I sat to pee, he knocks on the door. I hear him saying something, so I scream, "Hold on!" My dog is barking and I hurry up and flush, turning the corner out of my bathroom, pulling my pants up as i go. The second I turn the corner, he is walking in my door! Pants still not up! He had thought I said "Come in!" not "Hold on." At this moment I knew that that alone was going to put this night on the books. So anyway, we went to the roller derby again and, again, had a blast. I consumed two Hot Dog on a Stick corndogs, which was the sum of my food consumed today, seeing as I woke up at a miserable, sun-lite two-thirty. (I hate missing the morning, which is the downfall of being on a night schedule.) After that, we decided to go to the after-party at a club-ish type of place where, I, gasp-shock-awe, DANCED. Danced like that country song encourages. Then we proceeded to our friends' house where we played cards and I then consumed an eDiets dinner, which was pretty effin good. Then there was karaoke. And I'll just say it didn't sing me. I sang like that country song encourages. At one point there was a beatbox set up for me to rap, which, I'm kinda actually good at. Woof. And then I sang just about every song - but my shining moment: "What's Up" by 4 non-blondes. It was so bad it was so good. I felt like a rockstar, (an illusion that is only further by the fact that there is a bra silhouette on my television set at the moment.) Anyway, we finally decided it was time to call it a night, and walked outside and the sun was up. That's right. The sun was up. It's effin morning time folks! Def a night for the books.

sophisticated technology that freaks me out

2008-04-08T08:44:00.004-04:00

ugh. I just got off work. blimey. Long night with lots of "I don't even want to BE HERE" moments and even more, "can I tell my co-worker to eff off and still retain my work friendships?" moments. I really don't even want to get into it. Let's just say "ugh" and be done with it. ugh.

What I do want to get into is how Facebook has been freaking me out lately. Seriously. Have you guys ever checked out the ads they have on there? At first it was innocent enough, an ad for a movie coming to DVD that I had stated on my profile I liked. Easy enough. Then it got a little more strange when things I Googled started popping up. Still, I found an explanation. It can see what I Google. Freaky? Yes. Suspect? These days, no. I started seeing "Quit Smoking" ads and found that strange too. But I figured that it was a campaign for all young people.

THEN, my friends, it gets really weird. So I ate at The Cheesecake Factory on Sunday night. This is the first time I believe I have ever typed "Cheesecake factory". Well yesterday, I'm playing a game of poker on Facebook, my new addiction, and there pops up an ad. For what? THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY. Which makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. After being reminded of my gluttonous dinner, I start THINKING about how I need to work out. And no joke, an ad for a personal trainer comes up. Now, what the eff is going on here? Is it reading my mind??? Can it access my financial records?!? I know that these ads are specifically geared towards me because of the previous examples. (They always have something to do with what I've typed/messaged about lately.) But these last ones just knocked me for a second. I hadn't told anyone about my dinner. I had told less people about how I was thinking about getting a personal trainer. Then I start thinking about all the other ads that have popped up and realized that Facebook knows more about me than my own mother!

And it has seemed to paint a portrait of me that freaks me out a bit. All my vices on the glaring surface of my computer. It has hit all my weak spots at one point or another. And I'm a little pissed actually that they haven't brought out any of my fun and exciting qualities! "Awesome kites!" "Sky diving lessons!" "Dog parks!" "Bikes!" "Books!" They have just seemed to harp a bit on my downfalls here and have put me in some category I don't want to be in. (If ads start popping up for Moo-Moos and Hoverrounds I tossing the damn computer out of the window.)

Freaks. me. out.

Oh! I have an even more horrifying thought! What if Facebook can gather enough information to hypothesis your date of death and starts advertising things one might need in order for such an event. Horror movie! Hello! Hand over that paycheck South Africa, (they love those low-budg horror flicks, or so I hear).

Oh! One more Hopper photo for you to snuggle with. This one is from Malibu this past Saturday. She was digging up our feet! Or as my mom likes to think - looking for my lost car key. Yes, lost car key. On the beach. On the far reaches of Los Angeles County. With a cell phone in my locked car. With the knowledge I had been playing in the water. I didn't find the key, (I fear it may be well on it's way to Japan by now), but I've realized the more I tell this story, the more anticlimatic it is. So for entertainments sake, let's just pretend my window wasn't cracked just so and I didn't have a valet key tucked in my console, and instead, Hopper, friend, and I were forced to camp out on the beach until we finally ran into a nice fellow carrying a slim jim who hot wired the car and sent us on our way. Yes, that would have been a better story. Oh! Picture!

Sleep time!

F***ing Obama!!!!

2008-04-03T05:44:00.003-04:00

My head is going to explode from the hilarity I'm about to share with you. A couple of months ago, these videos came out:

Okay genius. Right? I mean how can it get better than that?!?! Brad Pitt. Harrison Ford. Cameron Diaz. Josh Groban for goodness sakes!

OKAY BUT HERE'S THE THING. IT DOES GET BETTER.

NO WORDS!

Mean Mr. Mustard!

2008-03-27T03:24:00.008-04:00

Okay I've stopped trying to analyze this one but here's an interesting dream I had last night. Slightly traumatic.

Okay, Jay Leno and Conan O'Brien were eating lunch together and I was somehow sitting at a table near them and held some sort of respect in their eyes. (Bare with me here.) I was sort of in charge of keeping people's noses in their own business, telling them to move along if they stopped to talk. Weeeelllll, at some point, Matthew Perry comes and is standing next to me watching Jay and Conan with a smile. I stare up in wonder as this is the first time I've seen Chandler, my second television crush, (the first, JTT). And I grab his sleeve, (this I remember clearly, grabbing his sleeve that is), and he smiles at me, and I say hello. At this point, Jay and Conan disappear, or I abondon my station. It's not clear which. We have a plesant conversation and then next thing dream-me knows, I'm eating lunch at a table with him and his friends. But I'm no longer a fan. I'm one of them.

Okay so we are all talking and laughing and having a good time and I start squeezing in fan questions. All is going well until... dum, dum, dum...dream-me says, "How's Lauren?" (As in Lauren Graham.) He puts his head in his hands and growls. Everyone at the table glares at me and he stands abruptly and starts pacing. He's on a sidewalk going in and out of view and everyone is trying to coax him down. But he's furious. They're all like, "It's okay!", "She didn't mean it!" "Come back and eat your hotdog!"

Meanwhile, in my most, "you're being overdramatic" voice I yell, "Matttttthhhhhhhheeeewwwww!"

He ignores me.

"Matthew Perry I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

In my head, I'm wondering what happened with Lauren. I'm scared to ask.

Another friend approaches the table and asks what happens when a man, who I will refer to as Mean Mr. Mustard, (one of Matthew's friends), points to me and says, "Betsy asked him about Lauren." And then ripples of "Betsy asked him about Lauren" goes through the table, along with scowls of discontent and glares directed towards me. All of the sudden, Mean Mr. Mustard grabs an old-school yellow bottle of mustard and points it at me and starts squirting. It is hitting the side of my face and hair in spurts of embarrassment so my pleas increase, "Matthew!!!! Matthew Perry!!!!!" Dream-me is convinced he's going to come save me from Mean Mr. Mustard.

At this point, mustard is dripping from my chin and I'm pretty sure my yells have turned panicked. The mustard and my pleas for Matthew don't stop coming until I reach consciousness.

Seriously. That was my dream.

LAnniversary!!!!!

2008-03-19T11:11:00.000-04:00

I've been here one year as of today!

The Roller Derby Kicks Ass!

2008-03-16T15:03:00.003-04:00

When you're feeling low, nothing can bring you up again like the bad-natured, trash talking, throwing each other into walls, Derby Dolls. I went to my first roller-derby last night, and I'm a changed woman. It was awesome! The arena was like a warehouse where you can get beer in cans and scream bloody murder for your chosen team. As the girls hip-bump each other into walls and fall and trip, the crowds "Ohh" and "Ahhh" in excitement and dismay. The whole thing has an awesome atmosphere with lots of smiles and a friendly competition between the opposing fans. There was even a wave and the whole thing is just really exciting. Not to mention, the awesome skating abilites shown by all the skaters, my fav, Mila Minute, who was the star of the show. She whipped around the rink at speeds that would have your mind spinning, racking up points nonstop.

Anyway, the outfits are crazy cool, with fishnet stockings and skirts so short, bloomers were required. The game I saw last night was the "Fight Crew" (flight attendents) vs "The Sirens" (naughty cops). Names for FC included "Crystal Deth", "Judy Gloom", and "Janis Choplin". Sirens included, "Scarlett Yohandsoff", "Paris Killton", and "Amber Alert!". HA! Love it.

Also in the crowd enjoying the organized mayham was Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz! And then there was some Hollywood producer named Roger Assaultrey, who was the star of the show with his quick whip of a whistle.

Well, that was good fun and I have definitley found my monthly Saturday night activity.

Kids Are Funny, (Maybe Bill Cosby Was On To Something)

2008-03-16T04:43:00.004-04:00

British babies!!!

Expletive, Expletive, etc

2008-03-15T14:15:00.006-04:00

How quick you can go from on top to run under a bus.

There's just no good news or bright side right now. I'm unemployed. Uh, the life of a freelancer is glamorous. No notice, no nothing. Double negative, expletive, etc. Seems the next episode I was going to work on got cancelled. Which leaves a gaping four week hole before my next job. And! That next job is a huge downwards step because, "There were too many people in line before you". That's not what I was told when I signed on for a lower rate last year. I was told I would have a spot on the next show. "You do" they argued. As a night assistant. "It's not you..." they said, and I felt like I was in the midst of a terrible breakup.

And now, while I felt so smart attempting to pay off some credit cards, I'm finding myself with little to no savings. Poor planning all around. Definitley been an explicit 24 hours.

Thus, the new search begins. When can I stop starting from square 1?

Eff.

Calm and Normal, But a Little Punchy

2008-03-12T03:19:00.010-04:00

I hate that my ridiculous fan-girl post is top on the page so I thought I'd push it down a little bit!

I've almost lived in LA for a year. I also just ordered the most amazing business cards ever. Here's a sneak peak (without text obv):

Don't even try and say that's not the best business card ever. Cause it is. (Yes, that is me in the glamour shot. That may be my calling card for life. Thank you Mom for taking me to get those done on that sweet September morning in '94.)

I've almost lived in LA for an entire year. Five days away from my anniversary. Will for sure do another one of those "Since I've Lived in LA" things. Also, I'm not feeling creative enough right this instant but I'm definitely going to be writing a "day in the life of"... a very secret object. But bullets are involved. And lottery tickets. And it's a true made-up story using circumstancial evidence. Get it? You will. (Maybe.)

Oh! I got my favorite editing note ever today! Love it!

Story of my life! If I had a nickel... (I loved how I checked it off victoriously. "Done!")

Also, in one of my voiceovers I said "vicarious" instead of "precarious". Somehow it almost made it all the way to air. Luckily, it was caught today. Man, that would have been embarrasing. That note was funny too but too long for me to get a good pic of it. Something about being curious...

Anyway, I'm tired from all the making myself laugh.

"too but too"

Oh My GOOOOOOOOD

2008-03-10T01:30:00.001-04:00

Yes, I just saw my favorite celebrity ever! Oh man! I can't even type right now. I was sitting across from her at a resturant. I'm insane right now, sorry. Just thought I'd share! Oh my goodness. I don't even know what to say other than, oh my goodness!! I can't believe that just happened!!! I'm in a state of euphoria. CDBL------CALL ME!

Ousted

2008-03-07T16:51:00.004-05:00

I've been ousted! Geez, I'm so not used to having spare time at work, but today has been so slow! So, I've been making phone calls (and even texts), and no one is returning them! I seriously feel like I'm going crazy. It makes me so paranoid, like what did I do?! What did I say?! Maybe everyone has good reasons, but seriously, it's going on 48 hours, which is rarer than rare for me to not speak to my people! This has seriously been a shotty week!!!

I feel like Truman in moments like these. I'm doing what any normal person would do it a situation like mine: "...Mommy?"

Update: My paranoia strikes again. People were busy. Go figure. Add being less paranoid to my list of goals for this year along with going whale watching, taking a pottery class, joining the gym, quitting smoking, Malibu trips every other week, eating heathier.

To Whom It May Concern 2

2008-03-06T03:25:00.002-05:00

It's been a while since I've done one of these, but they always end up being my favorite!

Dear Margaret,

Please, oh please, make my life and come weep with me. Moreover, I want you to see LA through my eyes. I wish you could see what I see in it.

Dear Lexus IS350 Owners,

Love your sweet, sweet car.

Dear Larry the Cable Guy,

I don't think your funny! I tried! I really did!

Dear Exec,

Be gentle!!!

Dear James Denton,

I recognized you, and sorry I didn't smile. My mind was going in a million different directions and I was outside before I comprehended that was you. (I'm sure you were losing sleep over this, so please, rest easy now.) You're a handsome, handsome, handsome man.

Dear Spark Readers,

I am not in a happy ending type of mood these days. These somber days will soon pass and I'll return to the chapter! FINAL chapter that is. Sorry for the long wait but hopefully it will be worth it.

Dear Brother,

I realize I was overly critical this weekend and perhaps hurt your feelings. I've been in a mood lately. Sorry for being a bitch.

Dear "You Go Girl" Girls,

What's your secret?

Dear Conan,

Why, oh why, are you in reruns so much lately???

Dear Christina Ricci,

Did you kinda call Jay Leno a degenerate? I found that moment pretty awkward. Was it, or am I misreading it?

Dear Buffalo Sauce,

Yum-O! You rock and even better with ranch.

I Now Pronouce You Mrs. Coffee

2008-03-04T12:07:00.002-05:00

This union has been coming for a while now. I finally found a coffee maker that I love waking up to in the morning.

I had just gotten a new coffee maker in November after being forced to abandon my old one when I left NY. (Along with my vacuum, a wonderful painting, both of my TVs, a card table, my infamous recliner, and loads and loads of other things. I could only take what would fit in my car.) Once in LA, I used my roommates until November and then, when I moved to my new place, I bought a new one.

This coffee maker was one that I thought would last forever. It was Black and Decker and matched my kitchen and was stainless steel. Well looks can be decieving. It didn't keep my coffee warm, which was my biggest complaint, where literally, immediately after making the coffee it would turn off and start cooling. It had bragged on its box that coffee stayed warm for two hours. NOt so. After fifteen minutes, unable to reheat the coffee pot or even turn it on, I'd have to microwave my coffee. Disgrace!

I finally had enough and kicked it to the curb. And then I found my true love.

Mr. Coffee has a glass carafe and with that, has a delicious non-metallic taste. It's beautiful and most importantly, keeps my coffee hot for two hours. The coffee maker even has a clock in which it tells me how long my coffee has been sitting there, and sure enough, the coffee maker stays on until that two hour time is up. And it's a delightful temperature.

I couldn't be happier with him. My coffee is perfect. Someway, somehow, if I don't do the coffee to water ratio correctly, it knows and corrects it for a perfect cup everytime. It also has a water filter for the water! If you're in the market for a coffee maker, do yourself a favor and look this little guy up.

It was truly, love at first sip.

You Better Google Me, Baby

2008-03-02T04:36:00.003-05:00

New favorite song.

I mean seriously, you can Google me!

Also, out of all of the Google searches that have resulted in someone coming to my page, the winner for the most returns is "avocado coffee". No joke.

"You can find me in Webster under the word star." This song makes me want to go out to a dance club, and if you know me, that's huge!

My Episode (and Dream Car)

2008-02-22T02:19:00.004-05:00

My episode is airing this weekend! My debut as editor on a real show that needed editing, vs the show I used to edit which was a format show and was just a lot of standups and segments strung together. But this show, (one which I am not naming because I don't want to be Googled in that capacity!), took a lot of work, and a lot of time, and even though it's not as good as I believe it maybe could have been had I had more time, (isn't that always the case?), it's my debut and I'm pretty freaking excited. So check out TLC at 8:30 on Saturday and see all my hard work come to fruition, (and the reason I haven't updated "Spark" lately). Anyway, I'm still trying to cash in my day off and having trouble doing so! Big day tomorrow with new deadlines for a new episode and then tomorrow night I'm going to my friend's movie premiere which, wait for it, will be my first red carpet event! And rumor has it the paps will be there. So who knows, maybe I'll be on wireimage or something. Doubtful! But you never know.

And for all the love I give LA, I really wish it would stop being cold and rainy. What happened to no seasons?!?!?!

Is anyone else obsessed with The Million Dollar Mission? Deal or No Deal, if you're wondering. Monday is the night, I believe. Pretty exciting.

Last item on my agenda is the dentist. I love my dentist, maybe because he's a self-proclaimed sadist or maybe because he's so darn cute with his Russian accent. Or maybe it's because he can do a filling in like twenty minutes flat. Anyway, he's amazing. And he always says, "Let's see how I'm going to torture you today," when he sits down. Okay, why do I find that so charming. Must be the accent. Nonetheless, I was so sore today after my "bigger than a filling, smaller than a crown" today. But it's over. And unfortunately, since I don't have dental insurance, I had to get a dental credit card, which pushes me further away from my dream of a Lexus IS350. I'm obsessed.

I present to you my car-crush:

It's even more beautiful in person.

What I Would Like To See

2008-02-20T03:03:00.004-05:00

With election day looming, I thought it would be interesting to make a list of, (buzz word ahead), changes I'd like to see in this country:

STOP the tolerance of intolerance.

I'd like to see America once again adored by other countries and for me not be ashamed to say I'm an American.

I'd like to see America as an economic icon once again, and not just a cultural one, by bringing back the middle class.

I'd like my kids to grow up in a world that is greener and more focused on the environment so that their kids and their kids and their kids can enjoy the same world we enjoy every day.

I'd like to see equal rights for all Americans, from women making the same amount as men to gay couples being able to enjoy the same rights as straight ones.

I'd like to see an education system that encourages kids to stay in school.

I'd like to see less focus on the "war on drugs" and more focus on drug programs and after school care for children whose parents work.

I'd like to see less crowded prisons and more work camps for inmates to be better prepared to enter back into society.

I'd like to feel safe with a military at home, prepared to defend me and those around me.

I'd like this country's leaders to take a good long look at the Fall of Rome and take notes.

I'd like to see the national debt start declining, at the very least.

I'd like to see the end of tax breaks for jobs shipped overseas, and stop reading quotes like this in my paper:
“You can outsource a lot of activities and get them done just as well at a lower cost,” -Treasury Secretary John Snow

And lastly, and maybe most importantly, I'd like to see the end of the seperation of classes where the rich continue to get richer and the poorer continue to get poorer.

And did I mention, STOP THE TOLERANCE OF INTOLERANCE!!!

To Be Fair---

2008-02-20T02:41:00.002-05:00

Equal Press!

Wanna watch something scary??? This is Dick Cheney in 1994 predicting the future in a Nostradamus kind of way, (kind of).

Okay So--

2008-02-18T00:46:00.005-05:00

I was talking to a friend last night about my recent interest in religion, science, and politics. I was sort of dumbfounded at how this interest had seemed to take hold over night. He had the theory, (as the same thing happened to him last year), that once we were out of school, it was fun and work. Now that we've learned that balance, our minds are seeking more enlightenment.

Hence, this sudden interest. Anyway, if you're not into this, I understand. (Skip down to the best friends post I just refound and finally posted!) I hope this isn't overkill but I have one more thing to post tonight and then I'm done.

This is from HBO's Documentary entitled, "Friends of God: A Road Trip With Alexandra Pelosi"

The estimated 50 to 80 million evangelical Christians living in America today have become a formidable force in our culture and democracy. But the evangelical movement is a big tent. To try and get a better understanding of the range and diversity of this community, intrepid filmmaker Alexandra Pelosi hit the road to meet some evangelicals and learn about what their influence may mean for the future of the country.

I must quote "Friends" on this one:

PHOEBE: That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.

JOEY: Such as?

PHOEBE: Like crop circles, or the Bermuda triangle, or evolution?

ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?

PHOEBE: Nah. Not really.

ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?

PHOEBE: I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.

ROSS: Too easy? Too...The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, too easy?

PHOEBE: Yeah, I just don't buy it.

ROSS: Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.

PHOEBE: Ok, don't get me started on gravity.

ROSS: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?

PHOEBE: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.

Best-est-est-est

2008-02-17T22:31:00.001-05:00

(Just found this and I'm not sure why I never posted. I wrote this entry last January. Better late than never!)

A best friend. We all want one. At one point or another in our lives, we thought we've found one. We might think we have one now. You may. Best friends are these idolized relationships that can rarely live up to the expectations we give them.

They want to be the ones that you can tell anything to. They tell you everything. They know all your secrets and you, theirs. You go to dinner, movies; you laugh at all the same jokes, you love the same music. They are you, only better. And they'd say the same about you if someone asked. They'd never not call when they say they will, and they're by your side before you have to ask. They know what makes you sad and avoid these subjects like the plague. A best friend brings your favorite dessert over when you tell them you've had a bad day at work. Boys never come between you, and they're there for you even if it means canceling a big date. These are the best friends we want. These are the best friends we want to be. These are the best friends we'll never have. These are the best friends we'll never be.

Years ago, in middle school or even before, my friends and I would rank our friends on a scale of "est"s. Sure, being a best friend was good. Being a best-est-est-est friend, was better. We'd give an extra "est" for each time that person made us feel like we mattered. Or because they were beside us while we were making the list. Or they'd bump up our popularity points.

We'd claim best friends forever but our lists would change daily, weekly, monthly. In the next two years, many of the people on the list would have stolen our sister's bathing suit or our favorite necklace or our boyfriend. The list would change and evolve. And one day, we'd stop making these lists, calling them childish and irrelevant. But it was still there. In our heads. And each time we saw them laughing with someone else, passing us by in the halls, being someone else's biology partner, we'd demote them in our heads. We'd vow that we could find someone to replace them. But then they'd be back, and could somehow make it back to the top of our lists in a few seconds. We'd deny such a list exists.

We've all had a best friend. We can all remember the moment that they stabbed us in the back clearly. We still feel the sting. We remember when they let us down, or when they found a new best friend. We remember when we drifted apart. We remember when we found someone to fill this new-found void. We remembered to hold ourselves a little closer, and this time, maybe we could be the one to let go first. Maybe this time, we'd have someone else lined up to fill the position when we were pushed away.

One day we'd look back at our best friends and wonder if such a thing ever existed. If there was one friend who was better than all the rest. Someone who fulfilled our image of them. Fulfilled the role of "best".

We want to believe that we'd be a great best friend. But we all disappoint. We all screw up, and we all get blinded. We forget, we move on, we let go. We forget to call or ask about their day. Sure friendship is about forgiveness, but should a best friend be able to screw up? If we are called the best friend, shouldn't we be the best at being a friend that we can be. And is anything short of that a failure? Is that why they're so fleeting? Expectations?

One day we let go of pretenses. We stop having best friends in a move of self-defense or something else. We have friends. We have good friends, work friends, acquaintances, and sometimes even great friends. We forget to sign our notes with the few extra "est"s in fear of disappointing or disappointment. We stop creating an impossible image. We stop believing in best friends. We think it's sad to let such a tradition die but we are tired.

(Secretly, we still hope they exist, even if the image looks a little different. We keep one eye open like a pre-teen on Christmas. We try not to be too disppointed when our parents have a milk mustache in the morning and their breath smells suspiciously of Oreos.)

Oy With The Deep Already!

2008-02-17T18:06:00.006-05:00

So oddly enough, a couple of friends of mine got into a similar debate as the one linked below via their Myspace blog. I listened in and was completely in awe. This quote was born of that and gives me chills! Just wanted to share:

"I was attempting to align the idea that religion and science are actually attempting the same ends; they both strive to explain the unexplainable. They both strive to understand that grain of sand at the end of NEVERENDING STORY and the true irony is that neither one will ever fully be able to do so.

So, if that is a choice between limiting my mind to understand God or limitlessly expanding my mind to find God... Then my faith is in the limitless."

I'm loving these conversations about the marriage of religion and science. The debates will only grow more plentiful as we learn more and more about our world.

The idea that science is a religion in and of itself, is a concept that had it been a snake, I would have been bitten. Meaning, any sort of dogmatic statements of the beginnings of life on this world, (that really, we know so little about), is taking a giant leap of faith. Be it following a God or following a text book.

Also this from Einstein who was interested in the joining of these two:

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."

"The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility."

"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind."

"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.":

Thanks Jason and Nate for the great conversation.

Debate

2008-02-15T21:53:00.012-05:00

I want to share how I have spent the last two hours of my evening with you. I have been watching a debate that has equally befuddled, amused, astounded, and justified my own beliefs and concerns. I internally debated with myself whether or not to post this here, for reasons that may or may not be completely obvious to you. The debate linked below is titled "Religion, Politics, and the End of the World".

I urge you to listen to the two opposing views and the thought-provoking views that lie within, if you feel you have the stomach for it. It's equally entertaining and informative and it's one of those things that I just haven't been able to tear myself away from for the past couple of hours, (with interruptions, of course).

For those of who I shall not name, but most likely, you know who you are, I assure you that if you can stomach the first segment, you will find your saving grace in his debater. It's unlikely you will get nothing from this, even if it is a better understanding of the War in Iraq and the ideas that lie within. One of the most intriguing and mind numbing moments of this debate is when Hedges discusses his experience in Iraq and how he believes we have handled things poorly. His own experience of the reactions from the Muslim world on the events of 9/11, and how, in essence, we manged to turn a formable ally into one of our greatest enemies.

I urge you to listen in if you so wish, and to not be scared off by the somewhat harsh introduction to the first of two debaters (the one he gives himself, mind you, after the terribly long 6 minute intro). The larger argument is one that is primarily introduced in part 2.

But for mere reasons of fundamental indiscretions that could serve to, in essence, nullify this debate for you, I warn you it is not for the faint of heart. Especially the first segment. Just warning you - the first segment is very athetistic in nature and I don't want to catch you off guard. It's equally important to not let the obvious difference of fundamental beliefs cheapen the core of the intention of this conversation. It's wonderful that discussions like this are even taking place today, and whether we'd like to admit it or not, both of the guys make astounding arguments about current events, most notably, the war in Iraq.

The argument of the debate itself is basically religion's role in today's conflicts. In one corner, (and I am very hesitant to put any words in any mouths, but this is from what I gathered), an atheist who believes religion is tearing our world apart, in corner number two, a New York Times reporter who has spent years and years studying religion, especially in the Middle East, and believes that the "Terror" problems of today comes from a class of people who are lost and in despair and are gathered up by terror organizations who veil their intentions behind a wall of promises and acceptance. Sparks will fly, (and do).

Religion, Politics, and The End of the World

Ehhh.

2008-02-15T02:16:00.005-05:00

I woke up this morning and was pretty sure it was Friday. I sadly assured myself it was only Thursday. When I got to work, everyone was walking around with doughnuts. Since we have doughnuts at work every Friday, I was once again confused. Hopeful, I asked what day it was. Thursday. Disappointment. And Valentine's day. Again with the disappointment. Ugh, really. Only Thursday? I'm so tired and just blah.

I'm ready for the weekend. Soooo ready.

Ehh.

Ehh.

Oh yeah, my episode is locked and is going to online tomorrow. And all the stress has hit me like a ton of bricks.

I accidentally pulled my computer to the ground today. Hard. How it is still working, I will never know. Oh, and I've almost lived in LA for a year. Insane. I'll have to do a Since I've Lived in LA Part 2.

Good night. I'm watching Friends now and am relieved to be home. Now if I can only get my toilet fixed. Yeah, real long story, but just another casualty of my insane work schedule I've had lately. I figured I've worked about 67 hours in the last week. Guh. Is my math right??!?

8+10+16+11+10+12

If tomorrow is an average day, my grand total for the week will be 76. 76?! That seems insane. Oh yeah, it is.

Ehh.

Inspired.

2008-02-13T12:22:00.002-05:00

"We know the battle ahead will be long. But always remember, no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing stands in the way of the power of billions of voices calling for change. We have been told we can not do this by a chorus of cynics, they will only grow louder and more dissonant. We've been asked to pause for a reality check, we've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false, about hope...We will remember that there is something happening in America. That we are not as divided as our politics suggest. That we are one people, that we are one nation. And together, we will begin the next great chapter in the America's story with three words, that will ring from coast to coast, from sea to shining sea - Yes, we can!"

Think Before You Speak

2008-02-13T04:01:00.003-05:00

Okay, as I was saying in an earlier post, I really like Mike Birbiglia. He has this one thing where he talks about not having a batter's circle for your brain, and where there is no filter between, (Lightbulb) and Batter up!

I'm still tired and having much difficulty formulating sentences.

Okay, well the other day, I was thinking back to a conversation I had with my boss. It was one of those times where you think back on something and it's like, 'Ohhhh, that probably didn't sound great.' The conversation went something like this:

Boss to me: I smoked for ten years and just recently quit.

Me: It's hard.

Boss: Very. Do you drink?

Me: I do, but I don't have a problem.

What?!?! "I do, but I don't have a problem"?!?! Who says that other than people with a problem!!!!

I can never be late to work ever again.

I really don't have a problem. Really. (Yeah. Trying to explain only makes it worse.)

Going to sleep for real now. I wrote my tired blog entry and then got dragged to a Guitar Hero tournament in which, because I was friends with the people who organize and host it, free food and drink! Very nice. It was great to go up to the bar to pay and being told, "Your tab is taken care of." But as fun as that was, it got in the way of my eyes closed time. Resume.

End scene.

Forklift.

Shootnanigans.

Stiked.

Grain of seed.

Pollit.

Snipe.

Forklift.

Lemon.

Aw, Lemon.

That was a stream of consciousness. Now I'm going to go for the stream of unconsciousness.

--------------------------------

Zzzzz

2008-02-13T00:04:00.003-05:00

I'm tired! That's all. I'm tired. In addition to working all weekend, I worked 9:30am (okay more like 10) to 2 am yesterday. Why is the TV industry filled with so much stress? It's like the end of the world if a deadline isn't made. Seriously. From lunch yesterday to about thirty minutes ago, I had been surviving on Protein bars and coffee. Seriously, all for the sake of one little air date!

Buttttttt, the result of all this is I sent my very first cut to a Network for the very first time. Wooo. It's scary, I'm not going to lie. I'm thirty percent scared, thirty percent relieved, and forty percent tired. Does that add up to a hundred? I hope so. If not, I blame the tiredness. So blood and tears shed for this thing, (and tons of "f" bombs), so now, when and if it does air, it will stay on my DVR forever. And you will be expected to watch.

Also, I've been keeping a log of all my google searches. I will reveal the top ten on my two year, yes two year!, anniversary!

Large Lemon

2008-02-11T15:24:00.000-05:00

I need help. This is how I spent an hour of "work time" today.

The Adventures of the Large Lemon

I'm obsessed with this beautiful monstrosity.

Is it just me or is there a heavenly light emanating from her?

In My Dreams

2008-02-10T14:12:00.000-05:00

I wrote a hilarious/informative/intriguing/amazing blog entry last night, (you know, basically the best kind). I felt so great about myself and cherished the fact that I'd have people laughing this morning. Well, I wake up to realize it was all a dream. And as disappointing as that was, it's even sadder that my mind chose this dream as the most pivotal for me to remember. I think I need new dreams. Or a life. Or a doctor.

New, (to me at least), comedian in which has quickly been placed in the "I'll have his babies" column of my life organizer:

This next one, someone animated, but I just love the dreams stuff that comes after the hotel thing!

Oh man! I love him.

What is my wash?

2008-02-06T02:24:00.000-05:00

I was trying to say "Where is my key?" and instead, in what can only be described as Ms BCT's slaughter of another language, 2008, (previously on: 2003 trip to France where I insisted on saying "Si" instead of "Oui", constantly!), I said, "What is my wash?". I was laughed at, to say the least. Estupido American.

Yes, this was during my poor attempt to learn Spanish from the nice valet man at work, who may or may not be inappropriate at times. ("Yo es no tu amore!" <---incorrect I'm sure, but you get the drift).

i also need to remember to say "Por favor"! How rude am I, demanding my key like that?

I'm going to get political on you for a second. Did you vote today? Super Tuesday. Hillary won CA. Sad! I think I love Obama. He's one of the most amazing speech-givers of our century. Fantastic speaker. Charismatic and so sensible. I like the man. I feel like he could be a landmark Pres. But that's just me. To each their own. We'll see what the people want I guess.

I'm just so tired of hearing of all these things that have been going on in this country. How so slowly, yet surely, we've lost our middle class. The best way this can be demonstrated in a tangible form is looking, and comparing, the Forbes "Richest People in America" list today and twenty years ago. Twenty years ago, the top 10 were millionaires. Today, BILLIONAIRES. Think about it. And freaking tax breaks for companies who send work to other countries??!? And, come on people, war on terror. I'm a pretty conservative democrat/independent, but can't our government see that the Middle East is getting billions and billions of dollars for oil exporting? Where do you guys think a lot of that money goes? It would be naive to think that at least some of it doesn't fund terriorism. Okay, so using our brains instead of our guns, why don't we put money into searching for alternate fuel sources. Not only one that would be better for the environment, but one that would cut terrorism, at least down, from the source! And while America is no longer an economic icon, it is a cultural one. Where we lead, the world would follow. So why hasn't this happened? Why haven't small moves at least been made in this direction? Well this is just my hypothesis, but I believe it has something to do with the billions of dollars oil companies in America would lose. (The money would stay in America, but go elsewhere.) Which is suspect only because of the close oil relationships in our White House. Sound like a crazy theory? Just think about it! It makes so much sense, it's scary! I think America has had enough old, white men in the White House. It's a new world and I believe that we need to get old, incestuous money out of the White House and bring someone in who can perhaps give a more unbiased view to some of our biggest issues today. And I'm tired of old, white men. (Have I mentioned that?) Not to mention the completely enraging civil liberties issues of today. It's our generation's slavery to a certain degree. It's prejudist and mind blowing at how small minded people in this day and age can be.

Anyway, just checking in. Hope your voice was heard today or in the upcoming primaries in your state.

Wrinkles!

2008-01-27T17:40:00.000-05:00

Back from the holidaze! Obviously, I guess. It's almost Feburary now! Okay, where to begin? Best new story in my arsenal? My LA dermatologist. If I ever doubted the reality of an image-obsessed Hollywood, well then doubt no more. So I go the the dermatologist expecting what I remember from other dermatologists I've visited. Lotions, a warning to use sensitive skin products, and maybe a critique of the skin products I use. Instead, I got a once over, a question of my age, (25), and then comes the blow. While I'm a spring chicken, my forehead has sprinted ahead and ages around 35 according to my derm. (I joked earlier that my forehead was inching towards a mid-life crisis and was going to be trying to buy a sports car soon.) Instead of speaking carefully and akowledging the insult, he spoke frankly and as if I shouldn't be surprised to hear this. It's the "lingo". Then, he told me he could fix it right up with botox. Yeah, no kidding. When I expressed my discontent with that suggestion, he said he could "paralyze my forehead so I wouldn't be able to scrunch it and could train myself to keep it flat".

Okay, so I had officially landed in Hollywood apparently. This makes me convinced more than ever that celebrities botox it right up. It was such a business as usual question. "So we could give you some botox and...". Anyway, I hope someone else gave him his Merecedes payment. Well nice to know I'm aging quite nicely. (I can't deny since that visit I've been lathering on the anti-wrinkle cream twice a day.)

I had a party last night and am putting off cleaning up. Sad that blog writing has become my most reliable procrastination device. What's up with all the rain SoCal??? I am done with it here. I've been spoiled! Bring back the weatherless, weather pronto!

The valet man at my work is teaching me Spanish, phrase at a time. He was very impressed I already knew "trabajo". He tried to teach me mi amore and then he winked. Starting to doubt his good intentions----

Oh! Have to post my favorite Hopper picture ever! This is her galavanting in Malibu on New Year's Day.

Well, that's it for now! Just work, work, cough, work. That's been my life lately. I got an air date for my episode I'm editing and when it gets closer, I'll share! Woo!

Give Me A BREAK!

2007-12-24T04:25:00.000-05:00

100th post! Woo! [Excitment fades back into anxiety.]

Things go from bad, to badder, to worse. Ready for a sob story? I can deliver them like no other.

As I sit in my apartment at 1:22am, anxiety ridden and clutching a hammer, I know that sleep will not come tonight. My shuttle for my new flight comes at 6:00am and I was hoping to catch a little sleep before then. I now believe that is impossible. But let me start from the beginning.

Saturday: Leaving Hopper at the vet was horribly sad and frustrating. On top of being overwhelmed with sadness of leaving her, the vet kept adding on a bunch of charges that made me lose a little bit of my mind. For the sake of my sanity, I won't rehash the details, but the jist is, I will never go back there, other than on Friday to retrieve my pup. Like Mario saving the Princess from the castle. My poor baby!

Not wanting to stay at my apartment by myself, and wanting to make it easier for my airport ride, I stayed at a friends house. I made the mistake of deciding to stay up all night. We watched movies and had a nice time. I was able to keep my mind from my sad little pup for a little while which was nice. I ended up deciding to take a power nap at 5:00, to wake up at 5;30. That all went well.

Sunday: We go to the airport and I'm surprised at how fast I get all checked in and everything. I go to my terminal, buy a bottle of water and a magazine, and put on my iPod. I hear some announcements and take off my headphones. Yes, you guessed it, my flight was delayed. 15 minutes, they said, so I put my headphones back on knowing I'd have plenty of time to make my connecting flight. Another announcement, I remove my headphones. And then they announce the worst thing ever. Flight cancelled. Not delayed. Not rerouted. Cancelled. The details get boring so I'll give you the rundown. I wait in line for close to 3 hours. It seems to be taking about 30 minutes per person. I'm in the back of the line, because they were doing it by connecting city. Since I had one of the longer layovers, Charlotte was close to last. By this point, I was exhausted. Throughout the crowd, there are various rumblings of there being no flights available until after Christmas. Mentally I prepare myself for a Christmas in LA.

Finally, finally, finally I get to the ticket counter at our terminal. The woman seems as exhausted as I, but is very nice. She finds a flight for me, for tomorrow. Ehhh. So off to home I go, still without sleep and ready to eat a house. They comp me a shuttle from the airport. The ride takes a while, but I talk to a nice guy from Switzerland who is travelling around the states for the first time. We talk about Switzerland and his impression of America so far. It was really cool to hear about his journey.

Anyway, I get home and order pizza and pass out on the couch. Completely exhausted, I sleep for four hours, waking up at 7 wide awake. I decide to continue my night on the couch, hoping to sleep more before my shuttle that is to arrive at 6. Well, the one night I'm at my apartment alone and without my dog, my doorbell rings at 12:30. Confused and a little scared, I quietly make my way to my door. I look in the peep hole and there's no one there. I get a little nervous, but keep looking. Then, after a solid minute, a man, possibly homeless, peeks his head into my view. He's looking into my peep hole, which as we all know is impossible, but it's still creepy. He then rings my bell again and disappears. I'm shaking at this point, completely freaking out. But it's silent, and I don't see him anymore. So I grab a hammer and my phone and root myself in front of the peep hole. Nothing. I hear a few sounds that could possibly be in my hall, but it's also kinda windy out so I can't be sure. I think back to other times in which I've called the police, and given their response times then, I thought I would just call the non-emergency number and ask for someone to come by. That way, at least I'd know someone was on their way. Still heard nothing, but let me tell you, sleep was the last thing on my mind at this point. Unfortunately. I keep a watch on the street and peep through the hole every now and then.

Finally, I see a police car drive up, shine its light on my building, but before I have time to be embarrassed, they pull off, obviously convinced everything was fine. That's the last I've heard of them. I heard my neighbor go outside, and went outside and talked to him. I told him what had happened, and he made me feel better, saying I'd be fine, and to just not answer my door. I told him that if he heard me hitting someone with a hammer, that it might be me attacking a homeless man and to call the police. Yeah, so anyway, at least they're home. Now it's 2:13 am and I'm still a little too scared to sleep. The one, ONE, night I'm without my dog, this happens.

Okay, tired. Might attempt to let one eye sleep. Life in the city is never boring, that's for sure.

Christmas Cheer

2007-12-22T04:25:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. Woo. Yeah, I'm not in the spirit yet. I remember when I was little, my brother, sister, and I would sit around the piano, (this isn't a lie, by the way), and come up with a concert for my parents. We'd include some dance moves and, if I'm not mistaken, props. Then we'd perform for our parents and try to pretend we didn't see my dad peering around us to watch the subtitles on Larry King. Our parents would go to bed and we'd sit up and watch a movie like Home Alone or the old Frosty cartoon movie. Then we'd dare each other to peek into the forbidden attic and sneak cookies or chips or something else unhealthy and that was supposed to be eaten in moderation. We'd try and try to go to sleep, but stay up late. And then our eyes would somehow pop open at five am, bright eyed and bushy tailed pulling our parents from their bed. They'd "snooze" us for a little while, but when we couldn't be hushed any longer, they'd take 30 minutes to wake up and get coffee, aka, set our presents out. Then we'd walk in with our hands covering our faces. Slowly letting the room be revealed, finger at a time.

Now THAT was Christmas. But now it's all different. Lucky if we're even all in the same room together, the only dance moves displayed are those of yours truly trying to get out anxious energy of being at home and feeling stuck. Especially now when going home means not having a car. (Perhaps my time in NY has trained me to think that car=freedom.) Now our parents drag us out of bed on Christmas morning wanting to "get it over with" so my mom can vacuum and we can eat. They feed us wine to keep us sedated and from fighting over the internet. Every year, they try the whole "let's sit as a family and just talk" thing. My dad still dodging for the muted television, while we all listen to my mom tell us all the new threats and all the people that are missing in the world.

It's not that we don't get along, it's that with my family, like most families, small doses are best. When my mom whines about me only staying for four days I'm like, "Really? Give me two days and you'll be sick of me, honest." Keeping five adults entertained under the same roof for a week is like mission impossible.

Christmas now is different. It's still nice. It is. Don't get me wrong. I do love my family. It's just hard. Taking all of us, used to our routines and certain lifestyles, and making us pretend we're all five again is taxing on everyone. I like going home, and perhaps wouldn't be quite as bitter about it if my dog could come with, (sadly, this year she's spending it with the vet). I leave on Sunday and do look forward to seeing the Christmas tree and my mom proud of all her decorations. I look forward to Christmas Eve where me and my brother still watch movies and stay up late, eating junk food. It's the post-Christmas stuff I dread. The first 48 hours is always great. After that, it's like, I want my bed, my house, and this year, my pup! The imfamous holidaze.

It's the weird years where we're no longer kids, and we don't have kids yet, that makes it awkward. We all want to keep up the spirit, but it's slightly dampened by the fact that we all know Santa doesn't exist and a little piece of magic is missing. This year in particular, I didn't get a tree and worked almost up to the day when my flight leaves. Maybe it's the fact it hasn't been too cold, seeing as this is my first Christmas in LA. I went to a few holiday parties, but take away the garland, and it's just another get together. I'm just not in the spirit yet. And I'm as perturbed as you by that fact. I haven't once popped in any Christmas cds, (but in fairness, my music lately has been dominated by the wonder that is Rilo Kiley's new album, "Under the Blacklight"). So maybe the feeling of giddiness will bubble in my chest when I land in my hometown.

Well the truth is, I miss the cheesy, happy Christmas feeling I used to get standing in my parents living room playing the piano and singing horrendously, laughing as my sister does the twist, or some other dance to make my mom laugh. I miss Santa! I miss all the holiday cheer! But as all things do, Christmas has evolved, and will continue to evolve as time passes.

Well Merry Christmas everyone and enjoy time with your friends and families! Here's to me getting in the spirit soon and bah humbug to being an adult! Believing in Santa was fun.

Work Sucks (Which Means My Social Life Will Be Heating Up Soon)

2007-12-18T08:06:00.000-05:00

For as long as I remember, I've had this odd balance---

I'm stopping midsentence to say that due to overdosing on "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air", I've started branching out on my late night television to discover that VH1 actually plays videos late at night. And Pink is on right now with her "Dear Mr President" song. And wow, I love it. I really like Pink. I have some questionable music tastes but I defend this one. Her voice is amazing. She stands for something and doesn't care what people think. She's kinda badass and I love her. I love this song and the video is so touching. Funniest line: "You've come a long way from whiskey and cocaine." Damn girl. You tell 'em.

Man, this song is really making me speechless.

Okay anyway, back to odd balance. Either work or social life is always booming. It seems when work is sucking the most, I'm enjoying some social fun times. When I'm getting promoted or something good is happening at work, I'm being stood up or a friend gets mad at me or something that puts me in the dumps. I've had a lot of work success in the past few months, but now, all of the sudden, work is totally going foul. Possibly I have spring fever now that I've gotten a promotion that doesn't quite kick in yet, but last week and present one I've managed to mess up quite a few things, or have quite a few things mess up on me.

Example? An output that used to take 2 hours, now is taking an average of 5 because of some odd graphics issue I'm having on one of the episodes. A reoccuring one that I can't figure out. I have to use a 3 hour work around. Another example? I got new footage in for the music video I was working on this fall, only for my computer to freak out, (bad hard drive maybe? this one is still a mystery), causing half of the footage to be lost. And I've made a few dumb mistakes, which has gotten my editor to be a little more short with me and not quite as warm as he once was. All these things could only mean one thing. Something fun is about to happen. Let's hope it's not got anything to do with the blind date I'm being forced onto while I'm home.

Funny story. My mom and her friend, who has a son that lives in NY, thought it would be a good idea to set us up on a blind date while we were home for the holidays. Get this: Mom wasn't even going to tell me about it. She was going to see what color shirt I was wearing and call his mom and tell her to tell him. Yeah, it was supposed to be a big secret. Luckily, my mom couldn't hold it in and told me. She's pretty serious about it, telling me that maybe if things work out I could move back to New York and get married. And hey, she adds, he makes enough money that you wouldn't have to work and could start popping out babies. She asked me, completely serious, why I was laughing.

Oh dear. My 25th birthday is looming and she is starting the fun pressure games already. Not to mention the completely inappropriate and awkward "date" she has arranged. I may ask him if he got the goats my father sent. I make a mean baked ziti so I think I'd be worth quite of few. Good news? As my friend and I were joking earlier in the evening, I could accidentally get pregnant and my mom would probably clap her hands and jump around screaming, "Finally!". Not that that is even close to being a possibility right now. But then again, work is sucking lately, so we'll just wait and see.

Full circle. I love it.

Step Away From iTunes

2007-12-17T06:40:00.000-05:00

So since I'm already on a night schedule, I decided to just go ahead and stay up until I have to take my brother to the airport at six am. I thought it would be fun to finally set up that iTunes account I've contemplated for a while now. And I can't stop buying songs! Embarrassingly enough, the song that made me breakdown and sign up was "How Far We've Come" by Matchbox Twenty, and you know what, I'm not embarrassed! Judge me if you must, but I like Matchbox Twenty, 20, or even, XX. They were my first concert that I chose to go to, (I got dragged to quite a few in my younger years - usually famed country music stars).

Anyway, the point is, I need to get away from iTunes. I keep thinking of songs I want, need, and have to have.

Instead of purchasing songs I've convinced myself I can't live without, I'll tell you how I got a cruel universe joke played on me tonight. I have days when I wake up and feel like I'm going to see a celebrity. Today was one of those days. When I have my day planned out, I just know that probability is higher in some places, and there's a certain ratio that can get my hopes up.

A friend and I went to a resturant in which last time I was there, we saw four celebrities, of various degrees of course. Favorite sighting of that day was Sean Gunn - yes my Gilmore heart always wins out. Anyway, today, nada.

We happened to go by some other places that I would consider high probability, and still nada.

Well, my brother came over tonight and we went to get some dinner in Los Feliz. Well, my little Gilmore-loving heart nearly exploded as a Lauren Graham wanna-be walked in the diner we settled on. Los Feliz and I have a history of these run-ins and this woman was seriously freakily similar to Lauren Graham. Freakily. This woman had a nose (job?) that, if I'm not mistaken, was a replica of LG's nose. Strange thing to notice, but it was that and the hair that had me really thinking it was her. It took me a few seconds of staring before I settled on "No way". What a tease though! That would have been seriously the most amazing thing ever. Worse case scenario, this woman was LG's stand-in or something. It was the strangest thing. I felt like someone was playing a joke on me. I wish I could have gotten a picture but on the slim to none chance it was actually LG, I'm sure flash bulbs make her cagey.

Let's Go To The Mall!

2007-12-14T18:42:00.000-05:00

Alien Planets

2007-12-08T07:46:00.001-05:00

Here's the intro to that show I was talking about last week. Watch it and be amazed!

An Epic Blog Entry

2007-11-16T18:44:00.001-05:00

I've needed to update for a while.

Highlights?

*I moved to Hollywood.

That's right! Hollywood proper. I now have one of the easiest commutes ever!

*I've been working on a new show pilot as the associate editor. Sometimes acting as a second editor, sometimes as an assistant. That was terrifyingly hard at first-especially the second editor bit. It was one of those jobs where I was working ten hours and by the end of the day, I still felt like I had sooo much work to do. I constantly felt behind and like there just weren't enough hours in the day. Things have since calmed down and I'm happily working nights again.

*My family came for Thanksgiving. It was bizarre and wonderful. We ate at tons of great restaurants and did a bunch of touristy things. I finally went on one of the star homes tours and left the bus feeling dirtier than I ever recall feeling. It really made me feel sorry for celebrities. But then again, as my brother in law pointed out, it's the price of fame.

*I saw the Stars live again. And on the first lyric, tears came to my eyes. It was so moving and amazing. They are rooted deeply in my heart.

*The writer's strike. I've never been happier to work in reality. I'm totally with the writers on this one though. The internet is quickly replacing dvds and dare I say, changing the industry forever. Their pay deserves to evolve with the changing times. The sad part of all this is all the other people working in Hollywood that have no jobs, as by this point most productions have gone dark. In an industry where a lot of the crew is living paycheck to paycheck, this comes as a major blow. Especially so close to the holidays. Sad all around. Let's hope they reach a resolution soon.

*In my new apartment, I decided that I would install a new toilet paper holder with my new toolkit I got! Well I go to Target and find this cute ring one. I go through the process of installing it, and once it is on the wall, I go to put the toilet paper on. It is then that I discover that it does not open. Upon closer inspection of the packaging, I notice it says "Towel Ring", not "Toilet Paper Ring". Yeah. I know. I'm embarrassed about it. For some strange reason, installing this toilet paper ring thing was standing for my independence and ability to do things for myself. Oh, the irony.

*And now for the BIG one. I got a promotion. A big one. I'm going to be editing starting in January! I can not express my excitement about this with mere exclamation points. Anyway, I'll edit for a couple months, fill in as an assistant temporarily until this new show starts up in the summer, in which I'll be serving as an editor! Permanently! Like, for real editor. Okay, that's very huge for me. Seeing as my birthday in at the end of December, I'll be officially an editor starting in 2008, after my quarter-century birthday.

*Lastly, I am amazed by the Universe. First, I went to the planetarium, in which my mind was blown. Then, in a matter of a few days, I watched the History or Discovery show "The Universe". (Watch it!)

Here's a statistic to blow your mind. If only 1% of the suns in the universe have an earth-like planet revolving around them, then there are billions of other Earth's out there. Billions! 1%. We have found like 200 planets so far that revolve around alien suns. ("Alien" as in not ours.) None have the ability for life to grow because they are either too close to their sun or too far away. Even if only one of the billions of planets out there happens to fall in the able-to-sprout-life range, we are not alone. And that's one out of billions of possibilities. It all depends on where the planet forms and starts its rotation.

There could be "Earth"s that are still in the stage of development that would mirror what we call the "Prehistoric Era". Dinosaurs, people. Think of all the possibilities. There could be civilizations still using candlelight to draw their cave paintings. There could be civilations that have already met their Armageddon's, nothing but charred remains of structures that once held an abundance of life. There could be life decades further advanced than us.

Maybe there is no other human life at all. Perhaps something in our atmosphere is so rare that it only allowed us to evolve the way we did. But, for the first time in my life, I'm seriously doubting it. I think I believe in aliens.

Funny Fame (by association?)

2007-10-14T23:46:00.000-04:00

Okay. So I have these friends who have sort of become a little famous lately for their sketch comedy. Pretty crazy actually. Their group is called POYKPAC and of course I'm going to pimp them. (Do people still "pimp" things?)

"POYKPAC"

So that there is their link to their super funny videos on YouTube. Based out of Williamsburg, they are starting to get recognized on the street and fan mail and the whole thing. Kinda crazy! (In fact, they might even get their own internet show!) One of their more recent videos has a couple shots of me in it. Look for a blonde in the front row, I enter with Maggie, and check out what we did for entertainment in college here:

Anyway, it's pretty cool to know people on the cusp of hitting it big. So you heard it here first! Poykpac is the next big thing! Tell your friends!

My life is kinda insane right now. I'm in the process of getting a new apartment, which I found one today that I love. Now if we can get our pesky landlord to release us from the lease. I'm thinking with the fire, it's a battle that can be won. I edited that music video, which I'll link here the second it's officially on YouTube, and got a small promotion at work, with possibility of a much, much bigger one soon.

I'm second editor on a new show for Discovery channel and that's going good I think. Well, it's going. I'm trying to knock their socks off so the big promotion can happen. Big promotion would mean me as an editor next season for the show I've been working on before this latest one, (starting in December). So that's HUGE. Huge I tell you. So lots of stuff going on.

Well check out POYKPAC and spam all your friends with links and I'll check back in soon!

No Words...

2007-09-26T01:08:00.000-04:00

Where do I begin? Sheesh. What a few weeks this has been. No kidding. You ready for an epic tale? Sit back, grab a drink, and get to reading. I'll begin two weeks back.

An amazing thing happened. I got a temporary job that lasted exactly to the day of when my perm job was supposed to start back up. And I not only got the job, I nailed the interview. They showed me the stacks of resumes and did the whole bit of flattering me by saying they liked my resume the best and I was the first they called, etc etc. Then made a whole show of tossing the rest of them into the trash. Okay, so it was probably the best interview I've ever had. The show was something definitely cool and different. I heckled a bit a got a wee bit over my usual rate and everyone seemed nice and welcoming. So I was pretty excited.

The day I found out I got the job, I also found out that I got to edit a music video for an actual record label and an actual band and it could actually go on tv! (Maybe, possibly, maybe). Flying high here, right?

Okay, then things started going terribly wrong. I soon discovered that my once top-of-the-line editing system had plummeted so far below the line that it couldn't even handle aforementioned music video. Not only that, the new job was not quite as great as I had imagined. It was hard going back to working days when I had grown so accustomed to nights. Having people breathing down my neck and not being able to get online and waste time was definitely a downer.

So one problem at a time, I knew I wanted to do the music video. I had just wrapped up the short that I've worked on literally all summer and was excited to go to something different. The song is catchy and poppy and fun, with a hint of darkness, and altogether perfect for me. The director is someone I've wanted to work with for a while, and well, music videos have always had a special place in my heart.

At this point in my life, I was broke. Broke broke broke! I quickly learned that in order for me to update my system so that it could handle the project, I wouldn't even be able to update my exsiting software, (since it is an Academic version, [which at the time sounded like such a good deal]). I'd have to buy the super expensive bundle of applications I'd rarely use, one of which, enabled me to do the video.

Thirteen hundred dollars in debt later, I'm sitting at my computer, all excited and ready to install my new software when I discover that I need to update my OS X to even be able to INSTALL FCP 6. What?!? That would have been nice to know at the store where I had bought the software as they were closing and locking the doors behind me for the night.

I should have taken this as a sign that the universe did not want me to do this project. But I couldn't stop there. This was an unreturnable purchase and I was going to use it damnit.

The next morning I awoke nice and early and was at the store as they opened the doors. I went in, bought my OS X gazillion, (after the fated conversation with the nice salesman, "Do you really need it now?" "Yes. Why?" "The new version is coming out next week. You should wait until then." Of course. "I can't!"), and left the store feeling even smaller than I felt when I entered.

I got home and spent the entire day installing software, including yet another upgrade I had to download as the smoke flew from my ears, and then, finally, FINALLY, importing the footage. Somehow, someway, I still got the first cut done that night, right on schedule. I was doing my best to overcome these obstacles and desperately wanted to leave a good taste in the mouth of the director. The next day, of course, (this is getting ridiculous, no?), after all of that hard work, I discovered that one little tiny box had not been checked when I imported the footage, (not to get into too many boring specifics, but it's an HD project and this was the first time I was dealing with actual HD in my timelime), so I had to reimport. Reimporting caused all my current files to reconnect almost an entire second off, meaning I was basically having to recut the entire thing. In one night to even attempt to stay on schedule.

Can I just say for the record this was one of the most fun things I've ever had the privelege of cutting. Even so, I would have preferred to do it once, especially with the tight schedule we were on, but I digress. I stayed up late, starting off my week on four hours of sleep. I finished, yay, but the lack of sleep hurt me.

Monday-I went to work, realized I had made a couple of mistakes, tried to correct them, cursed the assistant before me and the vague notes she left me, stared at the clock, waited for it to hit six thirty, drove home, walked my dog, and the director came over and we worked for the rest of the night on the cut.

Tuesday-I went to work, realized I had made a couple of mistakes, tried to correct them, cursed the assistant before me and the vague notes she left me, stared at the clock, waited for it to hit six thirty, drove home, walked my dog, and the director came over and we worked for the rest of the night on the cut.

Wednesday-I went to work completely exhausted, realized I had made a couple of mistakes, tried to correct them, cursed the assistant before me and the vague notes she left me, stared at the clock, waited for it to hit six thirty, drove home, walked my dog, and the director came over and we worked for the rest of the night on the cut.

Thursday-I went to work even more exhausted, realized I had made a couple of HUGE mistakes, like sending a bad DVD to the Network, (eck!), cursed the assistant before me and the vague notes she left me, cursed my boss for not letting me check said DVDs before he burned and sent them, stared at the clock, waited for it to hit six thirty, drove home, walked my dog, and the director came over and we worked for the rest of the night on the cut.

Friday-I went to work unbelievably exhausted, didn't make any mistakes, stared at the clock, waited for it to hit six thirty, got in my car and started to drive home. I was trying to make my way as fast as possible through the rain, (yes, rain in LA), and traffic, so I'd have enough time to walk my dog before the director came over. I got a call. EPIC! I warned you! (I actually had to stop and remember that other stuff because it is so pale in comparison to my next catastrophe. I was like "Wait, didn't something else suck like four days ago?")

My house, a duplex, had gotten struck hard by the rainstorm. The shotty old wire coming off of my bedroom and onto the pole had ripped from our house, still barely hanging on, but doing so in a vicarious manner. My roommate, who was home when it happened, had seen the sparks from the event, and ran outside. A small fire had started under our house. She grabbed the dogs and called the fire department. By the time they had gotten there, the fire was out and a large portion of cable/internet wires was a mess a black goo. Needless to say our cable/internet still hasn't been fixed!

They put up some tape and told us we needed the electic company to come out as soon as possible. It was around this time that I was finally getting home. The electricity was understandibly out, (just our house), and when I touched the back railing by the stairs, I got shocked. A loud, unbearable hum was coming from my wall, and our fire alarms were beeping mercilessly, as they run solely on electic energy and not batteries. The fire department had left and there was no fire at this time, so I tried my best to feel safe. My roommate went to a movie and I was stuck at home alone to sit and hope that, despite my gut telling me otherwise, everything was okay.

I kept getting wiffs of an odd odor that I pinpointed as a vitaminy smell. The fact that the fire alarms weren't working troubled me, but I tried to stay calm. Finally, sensing the smell was getting stronger, I broke down and called 911. I asked the fire department just to come back and investigate the smell. A little over two minutes later, four trucks came roaring into my neighborhood. My cheeks flushed, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was very wrong.

They could not smell anything and when I told them that the railing had shocked me, they looked at me like I was crazy. The dogs had both yelped in the front yard, as if they were getting shocked too. They didn't believe that it was anything to be worried about. They left, as there was no fire.

The electric company was slammed and no one came that night. I also had to understandibly cancel the editing session for the evening. I couldn't even sleep in my room as the hum was not only annoying, but troubling. It sounded like a ball of electricity trapped in the wall. I slept of the couch. A fitful nights sleep at best. After a week of short sleep nights, my nerves were rattled and body, exhausted.

I awoke the next morning and me and my roommate both called the electric company begging for someone to come out. One house without power didn't seem to be a big priority. We explained it was an emergency, but there was only so much customer service could do.

Finally, after an unsettling morning, a lone man from the electric company came to investigate. He looked shocked and basically said, "We're gonna need a bigger boat."

Duh. This is what we'd been saying. He was nice enough to call the dispatcher directly, hopefully expressing the severity of the situation. He was also nice enough to explain that somehow electricity had infiltrated our entire yard, or anything metal touching the house. And no, I was not crazy for thinking I got shocked. I actually did and thank goodness it wasn't enough to do any damage.

But he couldn't turn the electricity off. Basically that had to be done at the pole or something. For some reason, he couldn't do much. So again, I waited. Waited, sniffing the air anxiously. Roommate had gone to breakfast and I had stayed home, not wanting to leave the dogs alone. I was so nervous, just waiting for the house to catch fire, I actually packed up some things in my car. I just knew. I can't explain it, but I knew. I was putting my head between my knees taking deep breaths and trying to calm myself down. I felt helpless. Like I was just waiting for it to catch fire. Like it wasn't a question of "if", it was "when". I literally was having an internal debate on whether or not I was overreacting when I smelled the vitaminy smell again. I didn't want to false alarm the FD again, so I waited. It got stronger, much stronger, and finally I broke down and called my roommate begging her to come home. When she got there she laughed at the fact that I had packed up my car, but as the rain started falling again, the smell got even stronger.

So I got on the phone with the power company and told them we needed someone now. Now. Then, my worst nightmare happened. My roommate saw smoke. I took the dogs outside and put them in my car, yelling to the power company that my house was on fire, it was too late now, and I had to go. I hung up, feeling utterly helpless and like no one seemed to give a damn that we've had this huge risk around us and no one could seem to do anything but wait. Wait for this, I guessed. Wait for the house to go up in flames. That's what it took it seemed. My roommate ran down a few seconds later, having already called the fire department, and said she saw flames. In my head, it was gone. The house was gone. When the fire trucks pulled up, I met them at the street and told them where the kitchen was. Immediately when they ran in, I started crying. I know. I'm such a girl. But it had been an emotional day and I'm terrified of fires and I really thought the house was long gone. And just to push the sympathy points a little higher, it was pouring down rain and I was completely soaked. And neighbors were coming up to me offering me umbrellas and water and to go inside their house and sit, but I couldn't move from the driveway, alternating from watching the house in horror, and not being able to watch at all, fearing I'd see flames from the roof. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle that.

I'll add in here that we couldn't reach our landlord because of the Jewish holiday and he had left no emergency number.

I got dragged away from the house by a friend who took me down the block to her house and supplied me with dry clothes and made me calm down-which was probably a good thing. I think the firefighters were laughing at me. When I returned, it was business as fire usual. They had decided they had no other choice but to cut down the power line completely. They were inspecting all the walls with a camera thing to make sure nothing else was on fire.

A fireman, the chief I do believe, approached me and asked if I was the one that called last night about the "vitaminy" smell. I confirmed that was me, and he, in turn, confirmed, in his best apologetic tone, that I wasn't crazy. What I had been smelling was the old insulation smoldering in the walls. HA! (Although I'm not sure how much I appreciate being right on that one.) I knew I wasn't crazy. I'm pretty sure they felt bad about the jokes they made after they left. So yes, technically there was a fire in our walls for nearly twelve hours. This house we SLEPT in.

Anyway, that is how I spent last weekend. Hardly any damage was done, although the firemen did chop up one of our walls! The house has since been rewired, although not very well. Needless to say, we're not really feeling too safe here anymore, and are looking for a place elsewhere. Because of our dog situation, (them not getting along too well), we're going our seperate ways.

And now, I'm going to try and finish a project I've been working on and was almost done with before this big mess! Goodnight!

Awkward Moments

2007-09-05T01:13:00.000-04:00

Why do I feel like my life is a parade of awkward moments that will never end?

The two that come to mind right away that happened quite recently are as follows:

The day I was talking to my dad about how secure I felt with my job, I got an email letting me know that the show I've been working on is going on a two-week editing hiatus. This was while I was on my week vacation mind you. So instead of trying to figure out how to survive without one week of pay, I found myself having to figure out how to survive without three weeks of pay. Big difference there.

The short notice and nonchalance that this message was delivered to me, made me a little angry. But I was okay. Then I talked to the other assistant, who was lucky enough to recieve a phone call, who told me he wouldn't be surprised if it was extended past that. And then, speaking to another assistant, confirmed my fears that this company seemed to have a bad reputation for these sort of unexpected surprises.

So, in fear of living on the street, I started looking for alternate employment. Temporary, if I was lucky. I applied for a couple of week/two week jobs, but didn't hear anything back. A friend got me an interview at the company he works for, and although they deal more in promos and behind-the-scene specials, I thought I'd go to the interview and check out what sort of hours/pay/work I'd be dealing with.

Well the interview went great. Which would usually be a good thing, but not really in this case. They could only offer me what I was making now with lots of overtime factored in. They also stated, "If assistants can make it here, they can make it anywhere." Which to me was the equivalent of them saying, this is the hardest, longest hours job that you could take in a thirty-mile radius. If this was an editing position, then sure, I'd be up for the challenge. But this is an assistant job which usually is pretty mundane work. I knew pretty much at that point that I wouldn't take it.

But they loved me. I left the interview pretty secure that I landed the job. Which sucked. I should have tripped the interviewer on her way out or asked if it was okay if I had every other Friday off.

I weighed my options, and knew that if I stuck out these two weeks, then I'd be in better position in the long run. And in this field, it's hard not to think of the long run. So I put my faith in mankind and optimism and hoped that two weeks would all the hiatus would be.

Of course, my phone rang the next day. Why is it that when you want a job, you don't get it, but a job in which you don't want, falls at your feet? Well, I answered, rehearsing how I was going to let her down easily. Sure, now I can think of a thousand things to say, but in the moment, I was nervous and knew I'd babble, and just wanted it to be over.

The first, and I mean first, thing she said when I answered was, "Don't tell me you found another job!" in a cheerful, playful tone. Ouch. One of those. And everything I had planned to say just flew out the window.

"Umm," I said, trying really hard to be eloquent in such an uncomfortable situation.

I felt her face falling.

"Unfortunately, I did," I said stupidly and filled with guilt.

It was just awful and awkward and I know she'll never use that as an opener ever again! Just awful. Man, I still slap my forehead when I think of it. Ultimate grimace.

Second uncomfortable situation is completely and totally my fault. I bought these amazing shoes the other day. I mean they are dressy and flat and patterned and have a dragonfly on them. I bought them before I went home for the wedding to wear to the rehearsal dinner. Well, they were a little small, but I figured they'd be fine.

I wore them the night before the dinner, to a family dinner thing, and almost immediately I felt pain when I walked. Squeezing toes, tell-tell rubbing on my heel. I knew it would be a long dinner.

By the end of the night, I was limping. Actually limping. My feet were seconds away from bleeding and I threw the shoes forcibly into the backseat when I got into the car.

I was forced to wear much more casual flip flops to the rehearsal dinner. Feet still aching and cursing me.

So upon returning to LA, I decided that I'd wipe the bottoms of the shoes down and try and exchange them for a bigger size.

There wasn't much wear luckily, but before I got to the store, I checked for blood stains once more.

I went into the store, shoes back in the box, in the bag, with the reciept, and asked a salesperson if I could exhange my shoes. He took them out of the box and inspected them. They passed the test! Home free! So he goes to the back and finds the bigger size, bringing them out to me. I put them on, and Viola! These shoes weren't made to hurt! They felt great! It was amazing. So I told him so.

Then, for some unknown reason, perhaps a miscommunication between brain and mouth, I go on to tell him how the other pair messed up my feet so badly. And THEN, if that wasn't enough, I went ahead and showed, yes showed, him my blisters.

Okay, so at this point, he's looking at me like I'm crazy. I don't realize I've totally just ratted myself out until a few seconds later. I immediately start backtracking, pretending I was talking about another pair but he totally didn't believe me. He's STILL looking at me like I'm insane. Because I am I guess. Who does that???

I innocently hold up my bag holding the old painful shoes in one hand and the new box in the other and ask timidly, "Where do I do the exchange?"

I could tell he was having an internal battle. Finally, and amazingly, he directed me towards the register. Somehow, I was still able to exchange my shoes. I did turn to my friend next to me "Ohh-ing" and "Ahhh-ing" over some other shoes and then proclaiming I would never shop anywhere else for shoes. Once he showed me the register, he disappeared rather quickly. I can only assume he was doing me a favor by doing that.

Let's hope lessons were learned from these experiences.

If You Honk One More Time......!

2007-08-30T13:45:00.000-04:00

Two mornings in a row my peaceful reverie of dreams and fairydust has been rudely interrupted at 8:30 in the morning by a car horn that knows no limits. It's not one or two honks, or even an alarm of some sort. It is the unrhythmatic NOISE, constant honks, one after another for a period of up to six or seven minutes. I lay there for a few minutes, hoping the person will come to their senses and stop the madness. This morning, I clumsily jumped out of bed after five minutes of the disruption; my aim? Nothing short of throwing a chair off of my balcony or a verbal lashing not suitable for my babybook. The second, and I mean second, I stepped onto my front porch it stopped, and no cars with annoyed drivers in sight. I check all the driveways, parked cars, even garages in my line of vision, and nothing. Not even an echo that could direct me in the general vicinity. Across the street, my neighbor also had enough, and was storming to the street at the same moment I stepped out. We both scoured the streets, both coming up empty handed.

The honking bandit had made a clean escape. But tomorrow I will be ready. I will sleep in full garb as to not waste time when I wake up and storm to the street. At the first honk, my feet will hit the floor. I have an anger inside of me that needs to be let out, and thus far, I've been successful at not misdirecting it towards an innocent bystander. Tomorrow, my fury knows no bounds and the honking bandit will be sorry.

The paranoid side of me wonders who I pissed off enough to do such a meanspirited thing. Well maybe I'll have answers for you tomorrow.

I'm back in LA with my brother and so far it's been nice. It's been fun hanging out with him and we've been having a good time relaxing and pretending like we are on summer break. Because I'm currently without job, long story, but I know in a week and a half, I'll be back to the grind of 6 to 3. Pm to am.

In other news, a friend of mine wrote a blog entry about the earthquake I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. I thought I'd link it here cause as always, his way with words astounds me.

Shake-N-Bake

The Night Before, (And Other Random Thoughts)

2007-08-25T00:21:00.000-04:00

It's officially the night before one of my best friends' wedding. I just got home from all the rehearsal hoopla, and I'm nervous! I'm in the wedding party, which means I have to walk down the aisle, which means all eyes will be on me and I won't be able to tell a joke, which means I'll be nervous with none of my usual defense mechanisms at my disposal. I'll also have to stand still for a semi-long period of time, which makes me nervous because in such situations I have been known to lose my equilibrium. Besides all that stuff, SHE's getting MARRIED. This girl in which I grew up with, and from my middle school circle of friends, was certainly NOT the one we thought would get married first. It's all just unbelievable in that way that's hard to describe, (and I only realized it was hard once I started trying to explain it).

The night was interesting, to say the least. There are four of us that ran in the same circle for years and years. We hardly ever get together, all being in different places, metaphorically and physically. It's me, the bride-to-be, and friend A and friend B. Well tonight, friend A and B decided they hated each other after an incident. Me, always forced to play peacemaker/babysitter/go-between/middleman/what have you, had to try and explain to riled up friend A, (who no joke was ready to fight, FIGHT, in the middle of the parking lot of the rehearsal dinner-now that's classy-[ahh, I love coming home]), that by fighting friend B, bride-to-be would certainly have a memorable night, and not in the good way. So, there was that. I think the situation was diffused and hopefully things will work out tomorrow. (Although, I have a feeling my peacemaking job is not done.)

Another interesting thing is that when I come back here, I feel like a superstar. Now, I know, my job is pretty modest. I'm an assistant editor for a little tiny reality show and when I'm in LA, I'm major small fish in major big pond. But when I'm here, it's like a new ball game. Someone introduced me to the groom's mother as, "This is Betsy. She's works in television in LA." After humbly revealing the teeny-tiny little show I am merely an assistant editor on, I was surrounded by people. It was a little crazy actually. And I assure you this is not a huge show. The only reason I'm not saying the show name is for my own privacy purposes, but it's not that cool. When and if people have heard of it, I usually get a nod, and sometimes a, "Oh interesting." Well apparently I found this show's audience. Embarrased and shy, one of the relatives approached me during the evening and just wanted to talk to me about the show. It was pretty crazy. I had to tell the grandfather a couple of times that no, I've never been on the show, but he was convinced he had seen me on it. That's one amazing thing about working in television: it's just a job, but the fact that so many people can tangibly see your work on such a large scale, it makes it impressive. Such a small scale, but I can only imagine how actors and actresses must feel. It must be like that all the time for them. Just blows my mind!

I saw "Superbad" last night, and wow, it's amazing. I would say not to watch with anyone who you would potentially be embarrased around with any sort of mention of sex, because the entire movie would be squirm-worthy. I have pity on those who thought it was a good idea to take their mom with them. Squick! But wow-fantastic comedy. Best comedy, short of Wet, Hot, American Summer, I've ever seen.

Well I need to get some sleep so I'll catch you guys up more later. Goodnight!

Stars

2007-08-13T02:53:00.000-04:00

Wheee! I finally got to listen to the new Stars album! Here's my favorite track:

"Barricade" sample at Last fm

I'm sorry! But the line, "Oh, how could anyone not love the terrible things you do?" might be the best line ever. (Tied with, "How could anyone not love your cold, black heart?")

Other favorite from the album: "My *Favourite Book". *(Canadians!)

"My Favourite Book" sample at Last fm

The album comes out in September and is titled "In Our Bedroom After The War". If you aren't familiar with this band, please do yourself a favor and listen to some of their tracks. Beautiful music and amazing lyrics. This band is easily in my top 3! And I'm indecisive so narrowing it down that much is a big deal!

It's not their best album, personally I give "Heart" and/or "Nightsongs" that honor, (depending on my mood), but it's a great one nonetheless. Squee!

Okay, I got carried away with Stars info!

Other than the Joni Mitchell I've been obsessed with lately, ("California", "All I Want", "You Turn Me On, [I'm A Radio]", and "Twisted" to name a few), these are my Songs of the Moment. Wow, it's been a while since I've had one of those.

And now that I mentioned it, I have to post some "Twisted" lyrics because this song makes me laugh so hard.

"They say as a child, I appeared a little bit wild, with all my crazy ideas. But I knew what was happening, I knew I was a genius. What's so strange when you know that you're a wizard at three? I knew that this was meant to be.

"Now I heard little children were supposed to sleep tight. That's why I got into the vodka one night. My parents got frantic, didn't know what to do. But I saw some crazy scenes before I came to, now. Do you think I was crazy? I might have been only three, but I was swinging!"

On to more important matters! I finally got a snap of that infamous billboard I wrote about last week here.

Lots of mutimedia today! I'm getting pretty good with this html stuff, I must say.

My First Earthquake!

2007-08-09T06:48:00.000-04:00

I have waited anxiously for this day. (And not in the good way.)

Tonight, as I leaned against the wall casually, laughing at something my co-worker had said, I felt it. It was louder than I thought it would be and it was one of the most unsettling things I've ever experienced. We shook for a second, and the building seemed to sway a bit, and then there was quiet.

I was waiting the next big shake, as I stood looking wide-eyed to my co-worker who seemed to find a little bit of amusement in my expression. I asked if it was over, and he said yes, but I couldn't get my land legs back. I felt like I had been at sea for a while, and my entire body kept trying to catch up.

It was strange, and a little scary. And it was a relatively small one, as we surely just got the edge of the quake in the article below. But it was enough to convince me: I hate earthquakes. They are as unpredictable as tornados, and I hate the unpredicable.

But there we go. I finally experienced an earthquake. Whew.

Earthquake Article

Well...That Was Stupid

2007-07-26T18:04:00.000-04:00

So do you feel as privileged as I to be alive? I guess my feeling of gratefulness is at least explainable, seeing as, for all intents and purposes, I should maybe be dead. Yikes! I did something incredibly stupid yesterday, and immediately afterwards almost burst into tears that I didn't die. Okay, so there were no tears, but I was shocked-and no not physically. Okay-enough with the tease.

A little backstory is necessary, I presume. In one of the edit bays at work there is a leaking AC unit. Everyday, this thing leaks all over the ground. It has become such a nuisance for us that, many times a week, the water on the floor goes unnoticed. We joke that one day, someone is going to get shocked. WELLLLL...to empty out the back of the unit helps decrease the flooding, and since we empty it out like everyday, there is a plastic trashcan with around a foot of water in it sitting beside a bookshelf in the office.

Okay, so here goes: I sit in the chair and start to scoot it up to the desk. There's a little resistance, but I think, in my not thinking rationally, that maybe the wheel is caught on something. So in a split-second, I pull up a little harder and then I hear a splash. I turn around, and much to my horror, a dvd player, that is plugged in, has plummeted into the trashcan of water. The power cord is wrapped around the foot of my chair. In such horror that I have ruined a piece of equipment at work, I immediately, and this is hard to admit, because, I'm not a dumb person, but I immediately reach my hand into the trashcan, and pull the device out, setting it on the ground. I reach into the bucket of water, that holds an ELECTRICAL item, that.is.plugged.in.

Okay, so I'm not sure where my mind was at that moment, but it certainly wasn't thinking of the dangers of doing such a stupid thing. I set it down on the ground, and horror sets in. I touch my arm and pay attention to my body, and check for signs of near-death. I put my head on the desk and take deep breaths only to realize, I didn't die. Which is always a good realization to have. But I certainly could have, and maybe should have, and got so freaked that I couldn't really function for quite a while. My co-workers made me feel a bit better saying that if it had been on, or whatever needed to happen for the water to ignite the electrical portion of the dvd player, would have happened immediately and I would have known before I had a chance to reach in the bucket. A little solace, but with the cord wrapped around my chair, I wonder still my fate.

Anyway, I didn't die. Which is a good thing. I learned a pretty big lesson, and the dvd player, albiet this is the least of the worries, wasn't expensive and is not going to be missed. But man, it's good to be alive. Lesson time: Don't do that people. Think rationally! Don't stick you hand in water that hold an electrical item! Ever! Not a good plan! Not a smart idea!

Okay, well I'm sure as hell glad that turned out okay. Whew. Not much left to say now except, well, that was stupid.

Aliens in America

2007-07-25T17:23:00.000-04:00

Okay, first off, I loved it! Seriously! It was funny and endearing and I love the two boys, Dan Byrd and Adhir Kalyan. They are just fantastic.

I recognized the father from a "Sex in The City" episode from back in the day. And when Scott Patterson says the character is a blank slate, he's right. Not that Patrick Breen wasn't good, it's just not a huge part and doesn't have many characteristics that add too much to the show. (And he reminded me a lot of David Sutcliff, which is kinda humorous considering...) I have no idea how SP is going to play the father, but I can't wait to find out. Most importantly, I think he will be able to do it. And do it well.

Anyway, the music was awesome and the mother is awesome. I can't say enough good things. Cherry on top? The principal reminds me a tad bit of Principal Blackman from "Strangers With Candy". The first scene in which you see him, there's a subtle hilarious thing he does that immediately gave me a good feeling about this show.

For as many wonderful things I can say about it, my informed friend believes it's not going to make it. Which is unfortunate on many levels. I hope she's wrong. But for my part, I'll spread the word to tune in October 1st, with the assurance that audiences won't be disappointed. I'm a little sad that it's on The CW, considering the low ratings it will probably get as a result, but hopefully, it will still be able to do well, even if only by CW standards.

Yay for AIA being good! I can totally see why SP was drawn to this project!

(It's hard to review something that you love! There's nothing to gripe about!)

I Smell A Blog Entry

2007-07-25T16:50:00.000-04:00

Sometimes things happen in life in which you are powerless to do anything except write a blog entry. Such an event happened to me yesterday. I was riding with my friend around town and spotted possibly the most intriguing billboard I have ever seen. It read: "Life is Short, Have an Affair" and then gave a website. My friend and I were stupified at the prospect that this billboard was actually ENCOURAGING people to have affairs. I immediately stated, "I smell a blog entry."

Because what kind of society do we live in that makes it okay for people to publically try and convince people to lie and cheat and damage your family for their own gain? And actually say, "Hey it's okay to do all this horrible stuff that, let's face it, never turns out well for any parties involved, because life is short, and hey, that means it's all okay."

Surely this was a misunderstanding. Me and my naive little heart decided that when they said "affair" they actually meant vacation. (I chose to ignore the intimate position of the two people on the sign.) But I looked up the website, because honestly, wouldn't you? If for no other reason than to just make sure that this is not as horrifying as it sounds. And look up I did. And it wasn't as bad as it sounds, right? Wrong! It's worse! If you thought "Life is short, Have an affair", is in poor taste, try these. "When monogamy becomes monotony." "People who are inclined to have affairs are usually more attractive." "It's stimulating, naughty, and fun at the same time!"

Yeah that's right my innocent little creatures. Our world sucks! This site is even more horrendous than the giant billboard. If I'm not mistaken, I believe that this site is trying to convince you to have an affair. Telling you it's going to be fun, the people are really attractive, and hey, what a great escape from normal day to day life.

So basically, yeah. It's a horrifying prospect that people actually use this service enough that they can afford a giant billboard in Hollywood. They even brag about how many people have signed up with them: clocking in at one million, three-hundred ninty-five thousand! (Wha--!?!) What a sad state of affairs. (Pun intended.)

On a more exciting note, another billboard I saw yesterday was promoting the show in which I make my LA editing debut! Woo! "Murder" premieres on Spike TV, next Tuesday night, July 31st, at 10pm! Yippee!

Useless Info About Drugs

2007-07-23T19:22:00.000-04:00

Drugs. I would never have expected to be doing a blog about drugs, but today has just been one of those days. I went to the dentist today, (follow-up appt), and when I was speaking to the hygenist about how I was from NC, she told me she had a friend there. He is a neurosurgeon apparently. Then, out of nowhere, and quite unexpectedly, she leans in and is like, "I don't know how he does it after all the LSD we used to do!"

Bwah! I'm just going to skip over the part where this guy works on people's brains, (and that she was about to work on my mouth). But I laughed, and she laughed with me, but mine was more of those startled laughs where something catches you so off guard that you don't know what else to do. The fact that this woman felt so comfortable with me that she shared such an interesting tidbit about her past, was just so unexpected! You don't expect that from your hygentist, let me tell you!

Anyway, now here I am now watching this thing on cocaine on the History channel. The "Hooked" series. Pretty awesome, btw. It's discussing cocaine, and let me tell you, this stuff is interesting. Did you know that Freud was addicted to cocaine? And that the very dreams he had and became famous for interpreting, were cocaine induced? Also, it was used medicinally at first, in over-the-counter drugs given to adults and children alike. Causing all sorts of addictions and craziness in all sorts of people. (All ages!) Insanity! AND, if that wasn't enough cocaine trivia, then try this on for size. The south made it illegal before the federal government because they believed it made black people violent towards white people. That's right! Double-u tee f people.

Anyway, it's late and I'm all out of drug trivia at the moment. Have a good day people of the world and thanks for reading.

Woe!

2007-07-19T14:26:00.000-04:00

So as a good friend of mine keeps saying--karma owes me big. I've had a kinda hectic couple of weeks. Between trying to scrounge up enough money to register my car in California before my 30-day grace period is up, and trying to play peacemaker in my home between the two dogs, who think they are both dominent, things have been a little stressful lately.

As far as the car thing goes, little did I know when I was buying my car in NC, that when I brought it into California less than a year after purchase, I would have to pay sales tax on it, which roughly estimated is 1000% percent. I've had thirty days to get the sixteen hundred dollars together, and all was going well until the tooth incident of 2007.

The two dogs in our house have been fighting pretty frequently. It's been stressing me out enough, but It all came to a head on this past Saturday night. Several things were unusual about this fight. I was outside and the two dogs were hanging in my roommates room. Usually when the fights occur, we are both present and it seems to be a fight over attention or food or something. But I hear the tell-tale yells from my roommate who is friutlessly trying to seperate the transformed beasts. I come in and rush to help. We hadn't done much research on the matter, so we were still grabbing their collars trying to seperate them. Wrong move, I now know. As I grabbed Hopper's collar and started pulling her towards me, the collar snapped flying back into my face, breaking off a large piece of my bottom tooth.

I was horrified, but kept my cool, (well as far as the tooth thing goes), until we had sucessfully broken up the fight. Immediately afterwards, I broke down, having enough of the fights and suffering the trumatic loss of a large piece of tooth. It was painful and had me just at a loss at how something like that could happen. I saved my tooth and after some good pep talks and sympathy pains from friends, we set out to Walgreens where I could get something for the pain, and/or, discomfort.

Once again, this financial burden increased two-fold. How in the world could I afford to get this fixed when I have a hefty bill to pay for my car, that coincidentially is due this week. I called some emergency dentist, not having a dentist in the area, who offered to call me in some painkillers and said he could see me first thing on Monday. I passed on the painkillers, and stuck to Tylenol, but counted down the hours until I could find some relief. The Tylenol worked pretty good, but the whiskey worked a little better. On Saturday night, with the dogs locked up for the night, I sat back and through a straw drank some whiskey that eased the pain quite nicely. I just wish that in my gum-numbing fun I would have realized just how painful it would be to brush my teeth. But no, not then. It felt fine and I brushed, carefully, but still with enough fervor to have me up at six am on Sunday crying for my mommy.

Monday came and I went to see the dentist. He was able to glue to portion I had broken off back on, but not without shooting me full of novicane first. (Little did I know, you aren't supposed to drink coffee on mornings before you visit the dentist in which you are going to be numbed. Now you know.) Five shots later, I was finally numb enough for them to start work. It went off without a hitch, and after expressing my financial concerns, they gave me a discount that although made thing easier to handle, still took enough out of my account to not have enough to pay my bill at the DMV.

Long story short, I got some help from the parents, which at this point in my life, is a little humbling, but much appreciated. And today, finally, on the day that marks the end of my grace-period, I can go and register my car.

So everything seemed to work out, as things usually do. Now I'm just trying to find a way to keep the peace with the dogs. I've been absolutely horrified about another fight, and have started to keep the dogs seperate almost every moment I am home. I have to get some sort of advice from some dog professionals about how to handle this correctly. If you have any advice, please share. I'm at a loss right now, so scared to even attempt any methods of defusing a situation, not even wanting to let them get close enough to each other to try.

But, other than that, things are just great! Heh! I perhaps had a quarter-life crisis last night, in the startling realization that all the women editors I know are single and without children, and that one of the assistants I work with is way older than I thought. Her solace was no help, "Time flies!", "I still feel like I'm twenty," "It was only yesterday---"

Whew. So lots going on right now. My computer battery is dying and I'm about to go to the DMV to take care of this pesky robbery thing that I feel I am a victim of. But I was just checking in and sharing my latest with you fine folks.

Aliens in America review to come!

Jezebel James

2007-07-10T19:07:00.000-04:00

My blog is finally back up from a brief hiatus caused by an idenity crisis. (My blog's, not mine.) The good news is I'm back with a review of The Return of Jezebel James, aka Amy Sherman Palladino's new show, ahem, sitcom.

I haven't watched a sitcom in so long that I couldn't help but be startled by the laugh tracks and applause at the end. This, of course, is not unusual, but caught me off guard immediately. Then there was Parker Posey. I'm a fan, I like her work, but immediately I felt like I didn't like her as this character. Maybe it's because of the obvious similarities to Lorelai, (from Gilmore girls), where PP just didn't deliver where I knew LG could have. Not fair to compare the two actresses, I know, but it was the natural place my mind went. Why? The chatty-chatty dialogue of course. ASP is back in action with the snappy convos and the quick retorts. Did I think it worked? Honestly? No. Just one humble person's opinion, but it just wasn't carried the same. It seemed like ASP was trying direct Posey exactly towards a classic Lorelai performance in nearly every scene. (Including those infamous sad faces!)

First half of the show, it was cringe after cringe of Gilmore moments, (my personal favorite: when NAI-April showed up). The jokes fell short and I wanted to scream at the audience everytime they 'laughed'--"Stop telling me that was supposed to be funny and that I'm supposed to be laughing!" (First step in improving the show: lose the laugh track!)

Okay, this review is not all bad! I swear! By the end, I was satisfied. Don't know if I'm going to be running home to catch new episodes but it's definitely Tivo worthy. (Rating the pilot on a sliding scale of course.)

My mind started changing for the better midway through, with the appearance of Lauren Ambrose-who is awesome in this show. She makes the cartwheel thing (from the promo) funny! If that's not amazing, I don't know what is!!! For some reason, all the jokes started working. I laughed out loud a few times, and could even start to appreciate some of the characters, who before I had simply found annoying and useless.

But there's a big problem here. And I hate to say it, because I hate negative reviews of things, especially people, but it's clearly a problem. I went in with a clear mind, forgetting about Gilmore and all things previously ASP, but almost immediately it was clear to me that Parker Posey's character was a reincarnated Lorelai. Which, by all accounts, would be great, if only it was pulled off. But it's not. Not even close.

Long story short, Gilmore fans are going to be disappointed I fear. Like I said, the show itself rounded out pretty nicely, but, and this is a major but, somehow, ASP and PP have to get over the Lorelai hump. Everytime I would start to see Sarah, (Parker Posey's character), in her own light, they'd throw something towards me that would remind me of Lorelai. I was fighting them at every turn! This character needs something that's not there now. Something is off with her. She's too theatrical and just, well, kind of annoying. LG made the quick and witty dialogue endearing. The way it is now, Posey makes it seem like how Gilmore girls would sound if someone described it to you without actually watching it. All those people who used the, "I hate the unrealistic banter" excuse for not liking Gilmore girls are going to depise JJ.

Dude! Your Car's Been Toad!

2007-06-12T08:33:00.000-04:00

So the good news is, I'm officially nocturnal. The bad news? The sun is rising and I'm wide awake. Maybe not wide awake. I'm a little punchy. (For instance, I currently think replacing "towed" with "toad" is hilarious!) Further proof of this is when I pulled into the driveway a few minutes ago, talking to my east coast sister on the phone, I shushed her and insisted there was a rattlesnake in my front yard. Upon further investigation, it was the neighbors sprinklers.

Today, while all of you were at work, and I was spending my day lounging waiting for my nightshift to begin, I watched as a car was towed from my street. I wondered what exactly their indiscretion had been, but figured it was probably just a run-of-the-mill repossession or something.

Well, tonight, or this morning rather, upon returning home from work, I took my dog out for a tiny little walk. How can a tiny walk be little you ask? Well, it's to the street and back. She pees, yawns, leads me back inside. There you have it: tiny little.

Okay so I'm walking cautiously to the street, (watching out for rattlesnakes mind you), and I see a man in a suit walking down the sidewalk. It's one of those situations where the person doesn't see you, but you know when they do, it's going to startle them. Well, right before I got to my fake-cough to announce my presence stage, he noticed me and almost seems to duck away from me at first. It was odd. He looked like your standard business man, nice suit and tie, going in for an early morning in the office. But he was looking for something. And I watched him as he passed my house, and looked back confused. Then it struck me: he was looking for his car.

A few things. First of all, where had this man been? This car was towed around 2pm yesterday afternoon, and now it is 5:30am. He seemed a little unfamiliar with the area, and although I certainly don't recognize everyone in my neighborhood, I had never seen this guy before. And if he was a business man, as one would assume from his attire, wouldn't he have had to work yesterday? I ponder the possibilities because, let's face it, I'm nosey and want to know everything about people that strike my fancy. Okay, "fancy" is not the right word there. Or maybe it is. What I mean is, people who I find interesting or intriguing.

Okay, secondly, this car was not a super-fancy car. It was not a Rolls or Benz. (Yes, I just said "Rolls" and "Benz".) This guy seems well enough off that he wouldn't be getting his Honda repossessed. Especially if he was the over-achieving business man I painted him as in my first impression.

Thirdly, and this only occured to me after the fact, but was he reaching for a gun or something when he saw me? He seemed to go for something. Maybe it was pepper-spray or his pocket-protector, but he sure was jumpy.

So what does this spell out? Sketchy.

i decided to toss out my first impression and formulate a new one.

On Sunday evening he went to dinner was some of his associates. They discussed their sketchy business matters and what not. "Swifty", as he prefers to be called, is a major drug addict. The other members invite him over to one of their houses and insist he park miles away. Here, they go on an all night drug binge where they play a fierce and psychedelic game of D&D. Soon enough, Sunday evening turns into Monday morning and they're still at it. Finally, around 5pm, they all pass out. He wakes up at four, still in his suit from dinner, and decides it's time to head home. He begins his walk, nerves still rattled from the drugs. He's paranoid and jumpy, drug hungover and tired. He gets to the street where he's sure he parked his car, and can't seem to find it. He's so busy looking for said car, he doesn't see the girl walking down her driveway. When he sees movement from the corner of his eye, he turns and reaches for his sword, (that he's sure really exists---or it did a few hours ago anyway), sure that the dragon he had been fighting hours before had returned for round seventeen. He's startled to find that his sword has disappeared but is temporarily relieved that the dragon had also seemed to vanish due to the presence of a mortal and her K-9. He returns to his task at hand: finding his car. Confused, he wonders if he had sold it while on the binge, as it seems to be nowhere around. He then wonders if "Quantum"'s spell had actually worked. He whips out his phone to investigate the situation. Only to be reminded by his pal "Lark" that he stopped paying for his car to save up for his fantasy character figurines and premium rocks. "Rats", he thinks. "Not again."

On another note: I wonder if dogs don't think that we kiss them because we don't lick their faces?

Is It Just Me, Or Are T-Shirts Getting Funnier and Funnier?

2007-06-09T03:49:00.000-04:00

Here are a few that have had me dying laughing tonight:

Here are the ones that I will likely be wearing soon:

And the winner of the evening is:

T-shirts courtesy of:
(Check these links out! Much more hilarity lies within!)

T-Shirt Hell
Dirty Microbe
Busted Tees
Snorg Tees

Odd Job

2007-06-08T04:54:00.000-04:00

Okay I have the strangest job in the entire world right now. I'm digitizing hours and hours and hours of people's home videos. Like some people sent in one modest tape with a video they cut together on it, and others, well others sent in upwards of twenty tapes from years of filming. I'm watching people's weddings and family dinners, listening to roommates talk about their new apartment, watching friends hanging out carefreely singing or talking, unknowingly devulging this information to me, a person who they've never met, sitting in this strange building in Los Angeles at 2am. Is that creepy? I feel kinda creepy watching all these videos, even though it's literally my job right now.

But it's so interesting. A little depressing as well. A couple of times, I've formed some attachments to these people I'm watching, only for the next tape of their story to be a memorial video. No kidding. This has happened three times. I'm now to the point where I cringe every time I put in a new tape, hoping that they met a better fate than the last guy.

There've been a few survivors. Right now, I'm following this girl, (on tape 18!), through her life. It's odd, but I feel like I know her. I'm like watching her interact with her parents, grandparents, brother, friends, boyfriends. When the tapes started it was 1994. Now it's 2000 and she's living in a new apartment.

Okay, so what an odd job right? It's making me want a video camera right this instant. Which is bad because I have credit card bills. And oh man, this tape has "Warning: Sensitive Material" on its label. Now I'm scared.

Back to work.

In My Own Backyard!

2007-06-05T15:49:00.000-04:00

Perhaps feeling guilty from the last time I failed to act quickly enough, today I believe I was inducted into my neighborhoods "Community Watch" program.

So I'm going about my normal morning business, drinking coffee and scanning the internet. My wireless internet is down so I wasn't on the porch as much as usual. My front door was open and I was sitting on my couch hardwired into my modem. I hear a man on the street below yelling. I come to the porch and see a man looking helplessly around yelling "Thief! Thief!"

He yells to other neighbors that have come outside that he's looking for a black man. He starts walking up my driveway and I get nervous. I call for the dogs and walk towards the backdoor to ensure it's locked. (Thinking that the thief might be looking for a house to hide in.) As I turn the corner into the kitchen, I hold my hands up in some sort of karate pose that I never knew I knew. No one's there. Relief. It's locked and I turn my attention back towards the driveway, sticking my head out of the window just in time to see the man cornering a young black man, with poofy hair in my backyard! The guy looks scared as the worker who has been chasing him starts to move in, yelling "Thief!" and pointing in his direction. I watch it all and grab my phone to dial "911". The kid jumps the fence next to mine and gets away. The worker then runs into my front yard and grabs a broom of some sort, taking the brush part off, (left with just the handle), and jumps into a car. He means business.

At this point I'm trying to describe stuff to the 911 guy, but also trying to figure out where they are going. I've completely lost the suspect at this point, so I tell the 911 man where the worker headed.

I was shaking and nervous but gave all the info I had. The street turned silent as the chase moved elsewhere, but with doors locked and windows drawn, I sat nervously, with the dogs, hoping that Thief wouldn't come back and get revenge on nosey neighbors.

It's now almost 30 minutes later and no police to speak of. The guy chasing him has returned and checked our backyard looking for the purse that Thief seemed to no longer be carrying. He couldn't find it, which worries me that perhaps Thief stashed it and will be back for it later. No one has heard from the cops and I salute the LAPD for taking such action against this criminal. Good to know I guess.

The lady that lives below me, the landlords sister, came out and ensured me that this happens all the time and that they never come into the houses. She said, "he'll do it again and eventually get caught." Good to know lady! Way to ease my nerves! So apparently, this guy snatched a purse off of a woman in a market down the street. I assume that the worker saw and chased him here. Also apparently, this market is not one that I'm going to be frequenting.

Well that's it for now. I guess it's over. He got away. But not for lack of trying! This worker guy was like superman chasing this guy.

Nothing like a criminal chase to wake a person up in the morning.

UPDATE: It took about an hour, but the police finally came. They were milling about in the backyard with the worker from before. I was brushing my teeth and looked down and noticed a black bag on the roof of the garage. As I went out to tell the cops, they had just seen it as well. Turns out, it was a bookbag but the purse was still missing. They get all my info and I went on my way. Let's hope they found that purse! And hope even more that Thief doesn't come back looking for it.

I'll Leave You With Something Thought-Provoking

2007-06-05T06:49:00.000-04:00

I was doing some copper bracelet research tonight for a friend who has been having some arthritis in his hands. (Arthritis?!?! I'm getting so old, it's terrifying.) I happened to come across this gem of page that explains the benefits of a copper bracelet quite clearly.

Why does our Dealon Healing Copper Bracelet work? Well, we're not doctors and we make no medical claims for our product, but, we believe it's the copper.

Wow, thanks for clearing that up, Dealon!

At Least I'm Honest

2007-06-05T04:01:00.000-04:00

"Hey, if you're still unemployed today, Tuesday the 5th of the month of June, me and my pup are thinking about going hiking today around noonish. (I'm all about it, she's still deciding.)

Okay, so hiking is maybe an overstatement. There's definitely mountains and a dirt path, but I will embarrassingly be out of breath in like one incline, and you will have to carry on the conversation by yourself until we start going back down and my breath returns. Your presence, however, may protect me from perhaps my greatest fear, mountain lions. I will also be a joy to chat with once the inclines are over, (I'm awesome on the decline).

This is all assuming I make it out of bed tomorrow morning and can actually walk from my hike today. So far I'm not sore, but we'll see. Anyway, thought I'd see if you were interested. I know how fun distractions are during the job search process.

-Ms BCT"

Conundrum

2007-06-04T03:54:00.001-04:00

Okay, so I'm trying to get on this night schedule thing, but I'm currently in a conundrum. I am going hiking with the roommate and our doggies at eleven a.m. tomorrow morning. I also work tomorrow night. Right now, it is one a.m. I'm trying my hardest to stay up so I'll be on my A game tomorrow night, but I'm tired. We ate a large homemade meal tonight, and have spent the evening watching hits like "Mrs. Doubtfire" and "One Fine Day" reclining on the couch. Roommate went to sleep a while ago, and my eyes are drifting shut. I'm trying to decide if I should just go to sleep now so I can wake up a little early to drink my coffee---NAP! I'm going to take a nap after hiking! Problem solved. G'night.

My Song of the Moment

With A Side of Sanity Please--

2007-05-31T02:13:00.000-04:00

For the past few years I've routinely been getting these panic attack things. I first started getting them in movie theaters. In my college life, I spent many a day in a theater and especially during the previews, when things were quiet but my mind wasn't completely enthralled yet, they would strike. The room would start to close in and my throat would feel like it was closing up. I'd adjust myself uncomfortably in my chair and reach for water, (for the sensation of liquid travelling down my not-closed throat). I never would tell whoever I was with, but sometimes I'd stop myself from grabbing their hand and pleading, "Call an ambulance. I'm dying."

"It's in my mind," I'd repeat to myself, sometimes laughing just to make a sound. Trying not to let anyone around me hear the gulps of air I was snatching up, probably getting myself so high on oxygen, working only to increase my levels of anxiety. I couldn't sit in a theater, completely still and silent, and not have an attack. And I never thought, or considered, why this was happening until I started riding the subway.

On the subway, usually when the train was traveling under water, but always when I was alone and silent and still, I'd have attacks. It was quiet and still and I needed to do something, but knew that I couldn't. Same as the theater. Knowing that if I freaked out right there, it would cause quite a scene. And I'm not sure when I started feeling this way, but I hate making scenes. I think my body hated the fact that I couldn't scream at the top of my lungs and revolted against me in the form of rapid heartbeat, not being able to catch my breath, tightness in the throat, shaky legs, sweat. Several times, I fought to stand upright, always grabbing the nearest pole and nearly hanging from it as my legs refused to hold me up. I've almost reenacted the scene from Friends where Joey motions at the old lady to get up out of her wheelchair so he can sit down, several times.

My attacks have come in other situations as well. The common thread always being the same things: Me not being able to speak. Me not being able to move around or yell or bounce off walls. And this is why I think my sanity is hanging on by a thread. Does my body want me to speak or yell or whatever so badly that when it feels like it can not, it decides to shut down? Me having to stand still, being forced to be quiet, is the kryptonite that kills my sanity. I wonder what would happen if I allowed myself to do whatever my body wanted in these situations? Do I have a case of turrets that I'm fighting so hard to conceal, my body freaks?

This is just one more reason why pretty soon these entries are going to start with: "So my therapist says...."

And speaking of sanity, tonight is my first night as one of those people who only comes out when the sun goes down. Yep, I started a night gig. So far, I likey. I mean, I'm writing a blog entry! Woo. Tonight is apparently a slow night, so I guess I won't judge quite yet. The person I'm working with, (awkward!), is the person I might be replacing. Yikes. And it's a secret, as in, he doesn't know that. And it kills me when he talks about how much he likes his job, his hopes and dreams, his contentedness with his life. I was telling someone about the situation, my dad I think, and he thought this would happen. That I would form an attachment(?) to the person and end up feeling guilty about this whole situation! I mean, I wish they wouldn't have told me! I wish it just would have been, boom! You're here, he's not. Oops. But no. I'm a knowing participant. And yikes does that suck.

What sucks even more? He's kind of creepy. He's not, being that he seems really nice and great and helpful, but he has the potential to be that type of person. You know. That type. The type that has a button when pressed he freaks out and burns stuff down. That scares me. Maybe I'm completely misjudging here, but just because this is what I do, I'm going to be paranoid about it for a couple of months if I do, in fact, end up replacing him. Like, someone walk me to my car please! (I'm taking applications, cute boy from floor above mine.)

Speaking of boys, I just want to say, for the record, I don't like being catty. In fact, I try to avoid it at all costs. But today, there was a goat comment that nearly slipped through my lips. (I held it in thank goodness. I'm a lady afterall.) But as a wise person once said, "Squatters make other squatters, squat." Enough said.

Hello room temperature coffee. I'm great, (thanks for asking). How are you??? Oh, delicious?! That's weird.

I'm slipping inside the eye of my mind, Oasis!!

I Love Dogs!

2007-05-27T21:52:00.000-04:00

I feel like my day was ripped from the pages of a screwball comedy. I've had the pleasure and privilege to take care of three dogs today. Not by choice, mind you, by default. At least if I had known what I was getting into, I could have mentally prepared. Alas, I haven't been this mad at a dog(s) since Hopper ate my Liz Phair CD. I cried extraordinarily large, hot, white tears.

Our three stars:

Hopper-You know her. She's my little lady.

Cillian-My roommates little lady.

Stanley-My roommate's friend's puppy in which she was taking care of this weekend.

The set-up:

Roommate unexpectedly had to go elsewhere for the evening last night and much of the day today. Leaving me with default doggy duty.

My day began as the sun rose and woke little Stanley up. It was about six am. He decided that it was time to chew my headband, a hole in my carpet, and then wake his friends. Hopper, being well-trained to not rise before me, held her position on my bed, but Cillian was up and ready to play. When I refused to open my door, and let loose the herd to run rampidly through the house, no doubt waking my downstairs neighbors and thoroughly pissing them off, they revolted against me. All jumping on my bed, BARKING, AT ME, to wake up.

Barking. Enter my new pet peeve. Newly discovered. Barking, incessantly that is, dogs. Dogs that bark at every noise they hear, and that won't stop with a simple "Shut up!" Multiple dogs doing this may be a cause of death for me in the future. I nearly climbed out my window right then and there. Luckily, for your entertainment pleasure, I decided against it.

Not so luckily, these dogs were up. Up and not going back to sleep with any traditional methods of persuasion. Tranquilizers weren't at my disposal. Stanley, being an un-housetrained puppy, had to immediately be taken out. He's nearly eight months so I'm not exactly sure why he's not completely housetrained. But he's not, and he doesn't seem to care when you rub his face in his mistakes.

So I rolled out of bed with probably a picturesque face and an attitude that even coffee wouldn't fix. The second I got off the bed, the dogs were running around in circles and bounding all over the place, surely waking the neighbors, despite my best efforts.

Walking three dogs is hard enough. When they all want to go in different directions and love twisting up in each other's leashes, it's far worse. Stanley thought it was a good idea to pee on Hopper while she was peeing and Cillian saw a squirrel. I silently pleaded for my roommates timely return. Some how I made it through the morning, which is actually pretty long when you wake up at six. I had to seperate the dogs quite a bit in the early hours, still trying to keep the pretense of quiet.

By ten, when I hear the downstairs people mulling around, I let them be the wild animals they had wanted to be. What do they do? Sleep! Of course! By this time I had three cups of coffee pumping through my veins so no sleep for me.

Stanley then proceeds to poop in the den and pee in my room. Lovely. This is right after me taking them out again, mind you. And on this trip, instead of actually going to the bathroom, (obviously), Stanley thought it was a good idea to chase at a frou-frou dog of a not-so-friendly neighbor. When we get back in, he goes for my sunglasses, actually in the process of chomping down on them, and I yell at him louder than I've yelled at any other living thing ever. He smiled at me a wagged his tail. Infuriating.

At lunch, I take the dogs in the car to get some well-deserved lunch, (for me). Here, they were surprisingly well-behaved. Looking back, perhaps I should have just driven around all day.

Home again, Cillian, in the hopes that every car passing by was her mother returning home, found it important to bark as loudly as possible in case roommate was to miss the turn. She also found her release of energy in taunting Hopper all day, trying to get her to fight. Which with Stanley's presence, these two fighting is not an anomaly.

By nightfall, with roommate still not back, I knew I had to take the dogs out again. Courageously, I leashed them up and went where few have gone before. (I'm an exaggerator by nature.) The highlight of this walk was, beside the comically twisted leashes throughout and the three near trips of yours truly, was when Stanley's leash got stuck, somehow, inside of Hopper's collar. While I was trying to keep the dogs still long enough to untangle, Cillian decides now is a perfect time to finally get a snap in on Hopper. While my head is right by Hopper's face, she starts trying to bait Hopper into a fight. When I yank her leash, Hopper yelps and I realize I have yanked the wrong leash. At this point, what can you do but tredge on and go home and drink at beer at 7 o'clock on a Sunday evening? Nothing. So with choas around me, I sat here, where I am still, trying to ignore the loud barks and bounding dogs throughout the house.

I'm officially taking myself off doggy duty. Come hell or low water.

My Mom, The Teacher, Guiding Kids Toward Greatness

2007-05-24T11:37:00.000-04:00

While I sit here on my porch, desperately trying to hydrate my body, (and hoping that this hydration can come from coffee), I call my mother for her birthday. She's a kindergarten teacher and turned 55 today. I know she's with her class, but she still manages to pick up her phone when I call. In fact, one conversation we had once went like this:

"Hello?"

"Hi Mom."

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Oh nothing. Just driving to the grocery store to finally get some groceries so I can stop eating all the junk in my house and passing it off as good food."

"Good! You should go to the grocery store more often so you don't have to do that!"

"Mom, Hopper did the cutest thing thing morning-- Wait. What are you doing right now?"

"I'm standing in front of the chalkboard and teaching the kids their ABCs."

"Mom!"

"What?"

"You answered your phone in the middle of a lesson!?"

"Yeah so?"

"You aren't supposed to do that!"

"It's funny, all the kids are staring at me and cocking their heads-"

"Because you're their teacher on you're on the phone! Why don't you see the issue here?"

"It's fine. They aren't getting any better anyway."

"Mom! They can hear you!"

"They don't know I'm talking about them."

"Just call me back okay?"

"Wait, what did Hopper do that was cute?"

"I'm not having this conversation with all the kids staring at you."

"I'm used to it."

"Mom! Just call me back sheesh."

"Okay, love you."

"You too."

So I call her this morning and immediately ask if she's with her class and she explains most of them are on the playground but she's with a few finishing their work. I feel like this is a green flag for conversation so I begiin to wish her happy birthday, etc. It is then I hear her talking to one of her students and she says to me, "Pretend to be his mom and tell him that he has to finish his work."

"What?!? Mom no-"

A little voice comes on the phone, "Mom?"

I'm silent for a second and then in my best mom voice I say, "Finish your work."

He begins to mumble on and on about something but I'm not fluent in toddler yet so I just sit there in silence waiting for my mom to get back on the phone. He asks some sort of question, I can tell from his tone, and I say "Um hmmmm." My mom's voice comes back on the line and she starts rattling off more lies for me to tell this kid. I stop her, "Mom!"

"What?" she asks innocently.

"I'm not going to lie to this kid!"

"What did you say to him?"

"I recited all the curse words I know."

"You're a mess."

"You're a mess! Happy birthday. Teach your class and I'll call you back later."

"Okay, love you."

"You too."

Click.

Come on coffee! Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate!

A Few Quick Musings

2007-05-23T03:43:00.000-04:00

-I was reheating a Subway sandwich the other day when something struck me: Why doesn't Subway bread get hard in the microwave? Seriously! It seems to get softer! What is their special ingredient? Why has this oddity never been publicly speculated about like the secret ingredient in PinkBerry debacle? This info should become public knowledge soon! (Is it cynical for me to wonder if their rolls are in fact just a bread-like substance?)

-Apparently there might be a Gilmore girls movie in a couple of years. This excites me, yes. But in order for it to be successful, I believe it needs to happen relatively soon! Strike while the iron is hot. (Or not cold, rather.) Unfortuntely, after a certain amount of time, the only people that will be interested in this are the hardcore fans. So brains and muscle behind this idea, get to work! "Gilmore girls: The Movie" Summer 2008.

-Good luck Christie! And get back to packing! At least if you're going to procrastinate, call me!

-I like the lyrics, "Laughing at the sunrise, like it's been up all night."

-Unrelated to the lyrics above, I'm totally falling head over heels for The Beatles for the first time in my life. Right now.

-When my pup whimpers in her sleep, I gently rub her back and it settles her. How freaking cute!

-I haven't been able to watch the Veronica Mars SERIES finale just yet. Why do all the shows I love get cancelled? (Studio 60 on top of everything else!) And I know it's typical, but I need to reference an old Friends episode because this reminds me of something that reminds me of Friends. (Follow?) People say that I have Phoebe-esque qualities sometimes. I just remembered that when I was little, everytime I went to my grandparents house it seemed someone died. I remember being paranoid that it was me. [Paranoia.] I told myself that it was a coincidence. [Schizophrenic.] Oh! Reference? When Phoebe is convinced someone dies each time she goes to the Dentist. This storyline inspired one of my favorite Friends lines ever!

When you're alive, you answer your phone!

-A bird flew into my house today! Which only serves to remind me of the lovely weather I've been enjoying lately. (Open windows, you see.)

-I'm tired.

I've Never Felt So LA...

2007-05-21T03:51:00.000-04:00

...And I don't think that's a good thing.

I had the privilege of going to a Hollywood Hills house tonight for a cookout. With a real chef as host! And while that was all good and fine and fun and everything, I couldn't help noticing that those tales you hear about LA were actually true!

Okay let me back up. We drove for what seemed to be fifty miles on the curviest, skinniest, and bumpiest roads known to man. I think we got to the top of the hill and actually started going down the other side. Well, we passed huge mansions and gated driveways at every confusing corner. After finally finding the place, I settled my modest Toyota between a Mercedes and a BMW. I was sure to set my emergency brake.

After finding our way through a jungle, (or a stair path leading to the house through tons and tons of nature), we got to the backyard where my breath was stolen by the view. It was a perfect view into the city, or the valley I think, but beautiful nonetheless. There were only a few other people there, so my nervousness level hiked up a few notches, as I was a plus one.

We were warmly welcomed and immediately given wine, so who was I to complain? Everyone was pretty, but in that good hair, expensive clothes, personal trainer kind of way. All the guys had their button-up shirts, buttoned down about one-quarter of the way to expose some nice, tan chest, complete with the LA man's perfectly trimmed chest hair peaking out.

Over dinner, there were so many jokes about how much everyone was eating, even though barely anyone got seconds. There were quite a few anorexia jokes made and even one or two bulimia ones. (I actually held my bladder for a good thrity minutes after eating as to not raise suspicions.)

There was one guy talking about how he hadn't shaved himself in ten years. The whole group spoke about all the "hotspots" they go to, and how they just reserve a table at clubs when they know it's going to be crowded. (Loosely translated: Every weekend, spending $5000 so you can have a seat at a club where you are going to spend another $5000 just buying drinks.) At one point the conversation shifted to speaking of levels of "AmEx" and if the black card was worth the membership fee. I've never felt poorer in my entire life.

When asked where we lived, my roommate said "Beverly Hills", and I chimed in with "adjacent". Whoops. I totally blew her cover.

The highlight of the evening was when one of the more boisterous LAers dispproved of someones outfit. "No, no! You can't wear that to _____! What if TMZ sees you? Get some leather, some leather! He needs some leather!"

But everyone was really nice, I just couldn't believe just how many stereotypes I had seen tonight. I left deciding that the Hollywood Hills area was not my scene. (Lots of little phrases tonight like, "You can't do that in the Hills!" "You're in the Hills, you better act like it.") Take me to Los Feliz!!

Farewell To A Friend

2007-05-18T13:26:00.001-04:00

I started watching Gilmore girls almost two years ago now. I was unemployed after quitting the worst job I've ever had, and my roommate at the time had Seasons 1-3 on DVD. She had always told me that I would enjoy it, but I never really had any inclination to get involved in another TV show.

I am a master at procrastination, especially when it comes to cleaning my room. I told myself day after day during my unemployment that today would be the day I would clean my room. Eventually I realized that that method was not working. I was utterly bored and exhausted from sending out resume after resume, and ultimately decided that I'd give Gilmore a go. As I grabbed the DVDs, I stopped short. I told myself I could only watch the show if I finally cleaned my room. A reward system if you will. Little did I know.

I piled all the clothes from my floor, overflowing from my drawers, wedged behind my bed, fallen in my closet, on the bed in a big heaping pile. I stuck the DVD in my computer and started my journey. From the first scene, I was hooked. About halfway through the episode, I had began keeping up the image of cleaning my room, but slowed considerably. By the second episode, my heaping pile of clothes became a pillow in which I rested my head. Before I knew it, I was putting in disc two, and already was hooked.

By the end of the day, I was almost done with the season. When my roommate got home from work, she couldn't believe the progress I had made. Not so much on my room, mind you. Long story short, I started watching on a Tuesday, (I remember because there was a new episode on that very night), and by Friday night, I was making a late night run to a 24-hour DVD shop to buy season FOUR.

I guess this demonstrates my flaw number two: I'm not so good with the savoring thing. And now, I'll recant something that was once quoted by Andy Warhol. (Give me a break, I went to film school! I don't pray to him or anything, I just think he has interesting things to say.)

I couldn't find the exact quote but it's something along the lines of...'When I get a bag a jelly beans, I eat them all immediately so I don't have to think about them any longer.'...

And that's what I did with Gilmore girls. It was exactly a week before I was completely caught up to season six.

To say that I loved the show would be accurate. To say that I was addicted, would be even more accurate. I had found my new "Friends". For those of you who don't know, I was obsessed with "Friends" to an insane level for much of my teen years. (All?) I have every episode on VHS, complete with the early to late ninties commercials that I treasure almost as much as the actual episodes. I also own all of the DVDs.

Long story, (once again), short, I hadn't had a TV show obsession since "Friends" went off the air. And now, GIlmore was filling that void in my life.

The show is about family relationships, or more than that, people in general. The character in which I was mainly invested in, was Lorelai Gilmore. Single mother, estranged from her parents, living in a small, quirky town she calls home. She left her parents high-class world to start a new life for her and her daughter. The show was funny and touching and filled with a fair-share of drama. We followed these characters through everything. Lorelai through finding her independence, opening her own business, trying to reconnect with her parents, finding love. And Rory, through high school and college, her first kiss, first felony, losing her virginity, her first major relationship.

These people became fixtures in my life, be in the town-loon Kirk, or the hunky diner owner Luke. Every character has a place inside my heart.

The one relationship on the show that I treasured the most, (and that initially caught my attention), was that of Luke and Lorelai. They went from friends to lovers during the span of the show. We watched for four seasons, close call after close call, until finally, finally, they kissed. Fans rejoiced around the world as these two finally got it together.

Now those are the facts, now let me tell you my feelings for the show.

I knew from the start that Luke and Lorelai were eventually going to get together. I think that's what made me want to keep going through the DVDs initially. I mean, it was a great show, but the anticipation of them finally figuring out was killing me. I was waiting and waiting for their big moment. And when they finally got together, the wait was totally worth it. They have so much chemistry, their banter and quick wits were a perfect match. I was invested in this couple. They were my new Chandler and Monica.

This show has my heart, and the couple of Luke and Lorelai will forever be held close to my memory. Even if my wait wasn't as long as real-time viewers was, the build-up was great. All the close calls, and then ultimately, them finally finding each other, or finally opening their eyes.

For two years I've watching, and unfortunately, suffered through their most recent break-up. At the end of season six, the show's creator left, with a mess in her wake. This can be argued, but I believe that Amy Sherman-Palladino purposefully threw her show in a tailspin once her contract was not renewed. I think that she created the biggest mess possible, and then left the sinking ship.

Season six ended with Lorelai in Christopher's, (Rory's absentee father's), bed. Disastrous. ASP tossed the grenade on her way out of the door. But I went into the seventh season optimistic. That's the worst it will get right? Right?!?

Wrong. Not that David Rosenthal, the replacement for ASP, did a horrible job, because I do think he did an alright job, it's just he went a little too far in his attempts to releastically solve the problems put in place by Amy. Sure, right off the bat his writing wasn't up to par-but it was a valiant effort. And it was acceptable given the circumstances. Yes, Gilmore wasn't the same, but for the fans who wanted to see these characters carry-on, it was what we had to deal with. I, personally, was okay with that.

I was okay with Lorelai wanting to give it a go with Christopher. I understood that in order to make the bed jumping the slightest bit realistic, we had to see that there was still possibly something there. We had to see that underneath her fascade of happiness, she was lonely and sad and utterly lost. And Lorelai leaned on Christopher.

It was the ill-fated marriage that I completely despised. It was the sugarly-sweet, laid on too thick, "romantic" weekend in Paris that disturbed me to the core. It was the way that Christopher and Lorelai exchanged the "I love you"s like they were tic tacs, and the PDAs, like it was in Lorelai's nature to do so. Although disastrous and disgusting, at the very least I thought we'd finally get a chance for Lorelai, and more importantly Rory, to finally get closure with this man. The Christopher and Rory scenes were sparse and utterly meaningless. Lorelai didn't as much as give Christopher one harsh word in even the most heated of arguements about his unreliability with their daughter. Or her disappointment of the way the past had gone down.

Neither of the two of them questioned their ill-timed romp in the sack after Lorelai abruptly ended her engagement. Surprisingly, it was never mentioned again. Chris didn't as much as question his own actions, that were at-best, ungentlemanly. Lots of these little moments that could have made it all worth it, were tossed to the side. Instead of letting this relationship develop the characters and bring these family relationships to some sort of closure, the audience instead got a meaningless attempt at a relationship that had proven in the past to be futile. There was no substance and all these thought-provoking idiosyncrasies that could have been addressed, were left untouched.

After fourteen exhausting episodes, holding my breath waiting for the reason behind all of the madness to be revealed, the relationship was over. Fourteen episodes out of twenty-two, what we now know as the last twenty-two episodes, were wasted, err, spent on this relationship building up to a mind-bending nowhere, and then, as expected, falling apart.

And where were we then? Back where we began. What a waste of time and energy and if closure is what they were seeking, then they failed immensely. I'm no closer now to feeling like Lorelai is done with him for good, as I was at the end of season six.

For all the horribleness that was that relationship, when it was over, we started getting back to a good place. It took a couple episodes just for the residue alone to wear off and for me actually to remember that I love these characters, but around episode seventeen, I felt like we were back. Gilmore girls was back. The writing had improved by this time, but I had been so busy covering my ears for all the "I love you"s and holding back the wretches at every hint of physical contact between the two of them, which I may add, was far, far too much, (especially considering the amount we got in the two years of Luke and Lorelai's relationship), to even notice.

But finally, it was tolerable again. And that's the worst part unfortunately. Because as fate would have it, it was during this time that we found out that there would be no season eight.

To a friend who shared my sadness upon this development, I compared it with omelets. You're starving. You sit down and get the delicious looking omelet. You take a bite, and it's great. It's then swept away and replaced with a disgusting omelet that smells fishy. You suffer through a few bites and then, your original omelet is replaced. By this time, you're so excited, it just tastes THAT much better. Then, the resturant closes, and after two bites, they sweep your plate away, informing you that you're done. You had just gotten your appetite back!

It's sad folks. Sad indeed. There was a lot of hope going on in my heart until this was announced. I thought that a season eight would be okay. I thought that it would bring Gilmore to the conclusion it deserved. The last few episodes were fantastic and felt like old-Gilmore. The new writers had finally got the hang of it, and Christopher was gone to-boot!

Well, it's been a disappointing journey these last two years. For fans, it's been hit after hit. But overall, we wanted to see these characters continue. They still had a lot of life left in them. The Luke and Lorelai story, that we had been assured would happen from the beginning, was far from over.

The finale was better than expected. I will say that. Most of the stories left me feeling satisfied. The one I had a problem with though, was perhaps the most important to me, and the closest to my heart. Luke and Lorelai kissed in the finale, yes, and maybe the promise of them together forever wasn't possible given the time restrictions, but it left me a little cold. The line, "Take all the time you need" didn't make sense to me, and given the characters histories, I feel like it would have been more poignant coming from Lorelai. Their moment in the diner, fell falt for me and I didn't feel like, "This is it" for them. Although some fans claim they saw it, I didn't even see a meaningful look between them. Not one that would reassure me that they were back. They barely exchanged two words, and given all that they had been through the last year and a half, I felt like it wasn't sufficient. I also felt the Luke and Lorelai fans were cheated on this ending. Mainly for the reasons above, but also for the mere fact that their reunion kiss was cut short with a tilt up over the town square. Just a look between them after the kiss would have been nice.

My disappointment with the Luke and Lorelai conclusion does taint the ending of this show for me, but in my imagination, it will, and has to, live on.

But now, exhausting all my words, I say goodbye to a show that brought me so much. It shaped my life for two years and every Tuesday, placed me in front of my television in hopeful anticipation.

I will forever love the Gilmore girls, but now, it's time to say goodbye. Farewell my friend! I will miss you!